To My Commentors - 8/26/2012

Since I started reviewing the comments, I’ve only had to delete one – which was not related to my blog. It was basically an advertisement. Thank you all for being so understanding.

I want to remind you that a proactive site exists for communicating with others involved with caretaking or just loving an alcoholic. We have about 70 members now and are still growing. OARS F&F Group is a private Facebook page. Only members can see who participates and what they say. There is almost always someone available on the site 24 hours a day. The only rule is to not judge or criticize. Our topics are so varied – sometimes we are crying and other times we are laughing. There is a bond among the members that I’ve never seen in an Al-Anon meeting. I’m not knocking Al-Anon, it’s a fabulous support group, but I just feel that OARS goes that one step beyond.

An independent website is being developed for the OARS group and it will work similar to Facebook. It will include a forum and live chat – although Facebook works just as instantly. I have issues with Facebook and not everyone has access to it, so a separation is imminent.

To access the Facebook OARS – if you have an FB account, simply search for OARS F&F Group and request permission to join. Access is granted usually in less than a couple of hours. If you don’t have a FB account or you want to double your anonymity – create an email address (gmail or Hotmail) using a nickname. Then join FB using the nickname and request permission to join. Several people on the site do this and only use that nickname for the OARS site. It is free and is available internationally.

Anonymous 17 year old with a baby – PLEASE consider joining the OARS group. You have already experienced a lot in your early years. I know how painful it must be to watch your father destroy his life. Fathers are very important in the life of a young girl. They should protect and provide an example of the kind of man she would want to share her life with. I don’t know if you are with your baby’s father, but try to use your father’s example as one NOT to follow. However hurtful you’ve had a wonderful learning experience as to what you DO NOT want. I wish for you courage and strength as you tend to your father.

Msterfun – I agree with you – but it appears Riley is not dying. Of course, I won’t really know that until I can get him in to see the primary care doc (earliest appt was in Oct.). But, for now, I must assume he is simply physically ill and not dying. He is a handful to tend to even in sobriety. My main consideration at the moment is that we live with my grandson’s family. There are two very young children in this extremely small space. I CANNOT and WILL NOT expose the children to Riley’s insane drunken behavior. For now, at least, Riley is alcohol free and will stay that way for as long as I can manage it.

Jo – I just now this very minute accidently deleted one of your comments. I’ll try to replace it later today. I’m very sorry. It was not intentional. My cursor was in the wrong place when I clicked. That’s what I get for having both things open at once.

Syd – Riley has said he would like another letter and now that he’s a bit better he will try to write back. I’ll send the new address in a separate e-mail. Thank you very much.