Wednesday, April 30, 2014

To SC and Anonymous...

Thank you for your interest in the documentary project. Please e-mail me at LDoyne@live.com and tell me a little about your story and how to contact you. You are doing a wonderful public service by putting yourself out there. Again, thank you.

Anyone else interested in this worthwhile endeavor, please e-mail me personally at the address above.

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Hard, honest, truth...

This is just a reminder that there are still openings for the documentary to be aired on a major cable television network in 2016. Space is limited, but there are room for a few more stories.

At this point we are looking for people who are willing to tell their story publicly. The alcoholic must also be willing to participate since the documentary is about stages of alcoholism.

We already have several end-stage alcoholics and now we would like to focus on the younger set who may be teetering on the brink of alcoholism but may not yet be sure if they really are alcoholics. Someone with a recent DUI or arrest as a result of heavy drinking would be great. We are also needing people who may want to attain sobriety, but are struggling with maintaining the sobriety they achieve.

The goal of this film is to show the various stages of alcoholism and possibly be able to help people reach out to get help. Not all heavy drinkers are alcoholics, maybe this documentary can show the difference between the two. The people who participate will be providing a valuable public service and may make a real difference in someone else's life.

If you can find the strength to share your story, please contact me at immortalalcoholic@gmail.com or submit a brief outline of your story to docustories2014@gmail.com. For those who prefer voice -- call 212-512-1843. All information collected, messages, phone conversations will remain confidential.

Please share your experiences and join us in making the world understand the difference between heavy drinking and alcoholism while bringing to light the hardships on family and friends of alcoholics.

Thank you -- Linda


Monday, April 14, 2014

Random thoughts...

Since I’ve been back at doing more alcoholism related work, I’ve been going back over comments on this blog and on other places where I have postings. (I’ll supply the links at the end of this post.) There are a few things that stand out to me and I thought it would be good to review a few things today. These are just random subjects that may seem to be “all over the place.”

It seems so simple – just stop getting the alcohol for the alcoholic and everything will get better. That’s just not the reality. There comes a time in the process of alcoholism that not providing alcohol can be just as deadly as providing it. For end-stage drinkers, the only safe detox is one that is medically supervised and without the continuous flow of alcohol into the body, detox begins immediately.

It also seems simple to put the alcoholic out on the street – “kick him/her to curb”. Most of my blog readers are at the place where putting the alcoholic out would be something resembling putting a hospice patient out for them to die somewhere that is not in your line of vision. My moral compass doesn’t allow me to do that. Many of my readers’ moral compasses are pointed in the same direction.

That doesn’t mean that my readers should always stay in a relationship with the alcoholic person in their life. Circumstances must be weighed and considered. What is good for one person is not always good for another. It’s a decision that can only be made by the person living the life.

My personal belief is that no one person should be judged or criticized by another for their way of handling their life circumstance. The only way to truly know what is best for another is to actually live inside the person’s life. It’s OK to have an opinion, but not to believe that your opinion is the cure to anyone else’s situation. As I was reading comments on other websites, I was dismayed at the level of judgment that seemed to be running rampant.

Alcoholism is a heart-breaking, insidious, all-encompassing addiction which reaches far beyond just the person who is drinking. It takes over lives and leaves a path of destruction. As caretakers we must find a way to prevent us from losing our sanity while doing whatever it is that we feel is best for our situation. If we lose ourselves while taking care of others who have already lost it – the alcoholism wins. I won’t let alcohol win by claiming my life.

If you feel you would like some non-judgmental, non-critical support, please feel free to join the OARS website to get some much-needed support. The invitation link is:

We will all be happy to see you there!

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

It's Spring -- time for tornadoes and Oz

I've posted this before and got such a great response that I really think it deserves to be re-posted. It's Spring and for us in the south that means tornado season. It also means Wizard of Oz will be showing up on television.

Tornado warning… (5/3/2011)

When the Emergency Broadcast came over the television announcing that we were under a Tornado Warning, I gathered my stuff – blankets, pillows, laptop, water, etc – and put it in a secure place in my bathroom. I was ready.

Riley was in his rocking chair watching his usual NCIS. I told him we needed to get his bathroom ready in case the worst came about. He just said – “Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.” And being the good little caretaker that I am – I stocked his bathroom. Both the bathrooms are small and there is really only room for one person in each.

As the night wore on, I settled in and listened. Wind, rain, hail, more rain, quiet, wind and more wind – but there was no rumble. I was waiting for the rumble sound of an oncoming train. It never happened – and I was thankful.

As I was waiting, I could feel the house swaying with the wind. We have a brick rancher – solid as possibly could be – but the wind was so strong it was moving the house. I thought of the three little pigs who built their last house of bricks. What a smart thing to do.

In spite of the three little pigs’ wise decision to use brick in the construction – some lyrics kept running through my head -- but they weren’t verses about the pigs’ quest for a secure dwelling. Instead, I was hearing in my head the lyrics to a song from The Wizard of Oz.

The wind began to switch – the house to pitch and suddenly the hinges started to unhitch.

Life with an alcoholic is much the same as a house in the middle of a tornado. This first verse could well define what it is like to watch the beginning of an alcoholic downfall. Things are unsettled, the family never feels secure and things start to fall apart.

Just then the Witch – to satisfy an itch went flying on her broomstick, thumbing for a hitch.

The alcoholic (the Witch) needs to satisfy the craving for alcohol and so he/she seeks it out. Sometimes they ask others to help them obtain the alcohol – as in hitching a ride to the liquor store.

And oh, what happened then was rich.

I think if we substitute the word “sad” for the word “rich,” this would be exactly correct. Because what happens after the alcoholic gets the booze is rich with sadness.

The house began to pitch. The kitchen took a slitch.

Things become increasingly upsetting in the alcoholic household as the drinking continues.

It landed on the Wicked Witch in the middle of a ditch, which was not a healthy situation for the Wicked Witch.

The consequences of the alcoholic’s actions cause him/her to land in unpleasant situations. Eventually the health of the alcoholic deteriorates and puts the alcoholic’s life in danger.

Who began to twitch and was reduced to just a stitch of what was once the Wicked Witch.

The person who was once a vital, productive, happy member of the community is reduced to becoming a mere servant of alcohol. At that point, the entire family is not in Kansas anymore, but rather in some uninhabitable place – like Antarctica. No matter how many times you click your heels, those ruby red slippers are not going to help you now.

I’m told by fellow country dwellers that this is unusual weather for this time of year. Funny, in Linda and Riley World – living in a tornado is a way of life.

Monday, April 7, 2014

Everyone is eligible...

I’m so very excited about this television series on alcoholism. I’ve been given an awesome opportunity to help produce and I’ve been able to locate several people who are courageous enough to allow their stories to be shown on this major television network. Thank you to all of you who have consented.

We are still looking for more stories and would love to hear from you if you think you might be interested in sharing your struggles and making a real difference in someone else’s life. You may think that you are not interesting enough. You may be hesitant to show your face on television and to the world – it’s extremely public. You may think that because you are drinking, you would not be a good candidate for being interviewed.  The fact is, you may be just the person, story, situation that would be excellent for this project.
If you are drinking and feel that there is just no way for you to stop. We need your story.

If you think you are not interesting enough, not photogenic enough, not young enough, not old enough, not enough, not enough, not enough. You are very wrong. We need you. We don’t care that you aren’t going to win any beauty pageants or be the next GQ Man of the Hour. We don’t care how old you are.

This is what we need – if you struggle between sobriety and drinking, we want to hear from you. That’s it. That’s all there is too it.

One of the producers of the project as sent this message to all my readers:  

Dear Friends of the Immortal Alcoholic,
Chances are if you are reading the Immortal Alcoholic- you have a loved one or friend who has a problem with alcohol- or perhaps you yourself struggle with alcohol. Most likely- these relationships are complex and challenging. We are producing a documentary for a major cable network about people’s relationships with alcohol. Alcohol use is often depicted as black or white and yet the realities of these relationships are typically far more complex. We are trying to tell a different kind of story about people who fall into the more subtle and complex grey zone of alcohol use. Our goal is to feature about eight different people whose stories collectively illustrate the broad spectrum of modern day alcohol use.
If you are comfortable sharing your story- then please feel free to call or write.   We can be reached by email, docustories2014@gmail.com at or by phone at 212 512-1843 (your messages and our conversations are completely confidential). There is absolutely no pressure, nor obligation—we would love to explore the possibility of bringing your story, your perspective, to our audience.

Let me emphasis – this is NOT an intervention. This is just telling your story. No pressure to go to a treatment or rehab facility.

I’ve been writing this blog for four years and feel that all my readers are a part of a special family. I’m asking that special family to help make a difference in someone else’s life. I’m asking you to dig deep and help make this project a success.

If you want to talk to me before talking to the producers, just send an e-mail to LDoyne@live.com and include your phone number. I’ll call you and we can chat a bit before going further.


Thank you so very much for your consideration.

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Channel 81 NOT 106!

The radio station for the broadcast is 81 and not 106 as I thought! Please tune in!

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Radio and TV

Tomorrow Channel 106 of Sirius XM Radio hosted by Perri Peltz of HBO. Her guest will be Dr. Joe Nowinski and I've been asked to call in to tell a bit about the Immortal Alcoholic. Call the program with questions or comments.  877- 698-3627.

Sirius Radio
Channel 106
Topic: Heavy Drinker vs. Alcoholic
3 p.m. - 4 p.m. Eastern Time
Hosted by Perri Peltz, HBO
Guest: Dr. Joe Nowinski, author "Almost Alcoholic"
Call line: 877-698-3627 Phone calls from you are what will make this program great!

Hope to hear you there!!

ALSO (A note from Perri Peltz):

Chances are if you are reading the Immortal Alcoholic- you have a loved one or friend who has a problem with alcohol- or perhaps you yourself struggle with alcohol. Most likely- these relationships are complex and challenging. We are producing a documentary for a major cable network about people's  relationships with alcohol. Alcohol use if often depicted as black or white and yet the reality of these relationships are typically far more complex. We are trying to tell a different kind of story about people who fall into the more subtle and complex grey zone of alcohol use. Our goal is to feature about eight different people whose stories collectively illustrate the broad spectrum of modern day alcohol use.

If you are comfortable sharing your story- then please feel free to call or write.   We can be reached by email, docustories2014@gmail.com at or by phone at 212 512-1843 (your messages and our conversations are completely confidential). There is absolutely no pressure, nor obligation—we would love to explore the possibility of bringing your story, your perspective, to our audience.

Fat lady singing...

Many people believe that once an alcoholic has stopped drinking that the worst is over. People also believe that going to rehab for 90 days means there are only sunny days ahead. The reality is a far different picture from what many people believe.

When detox begins in a medically supervised arena, the brain begins to divest itself of the accumulated toxins that have been stored in the frontal lobe. It is a slow process to get rid of all that poison. In fact it takes FOUR years for the brain to be toxin-free. Even if there is zero alcohol in the blood stream, the alcoholic will be under the influence (even if minimally) for the next four years. So that means, while the person may be able to go back to work, repair broken relationships, find peace and in general return to a somewhat “normal” life – there is always the pull back to the bottle or vestiges of the alcoholic personality on a daily basis.

If a person goes to rehab for 90 days and then immediately goes back to drinking, it may be because that pull from the brain is over-riding any logical thinking process. Alcoholism is an addiction and it is difficult enough to break the addiction even if there were no left-over toxins interfering with logic, reason and emotion.

After the 90 days in treatment there must be a continuation of treatment for the alcoholic to ignore those pulls away from rationality. Most people continue their journey in a 12-step program, but there are other programs – Smart Recovery is just one example. In my opinion, support groups are great, but there needs to be that one-on-one counseling in order to keep working on the more intimate issues. The therapy must dig deep to find factors that may have encouraged the drinking in the first place. Was there a traumatic incident? Was there some PTSD, child abuse, or any other major life change around the time the drinking stepped up in pace? What are some of the triggers that may put the alcoholic into a tenuous situation? Usually many of these issues are not uncovered in a group atmosphere because they can be too personal, too painful to discuss openly. There is often not enough time inside the rehab center of other support groups. When things do start to become clear, it will take a lot of work to resolve the discovered issues in order to reach full recovery.

It doesn’t happen overnight; within a month, year, or more. It’s long and hard. It could take four years. The good news is that once these issues are uncovered it will then be possible for the alcoholic to start to truly recover. Dr. Phil says, “You can’t fix what you don’t acknowledge.” No truer words have been spoken – in my opinion. I always say “Knowledge is power.”

Usually when a person comes out of rehab the family feels like they are on top of the world. There is hope; there is a promise of a normal life. It’s a “honeymoon” period where everything is sweet, loving and light. But for the family there is also the edginess of waiting for the other shoe to drop. They are cautious in their happiness. And that’s as it should be because it takes four years; it takes support groups; it takes counseling; it takes patience; it takes understanding; and sometimes it feels impossible.

In my case, Riley was once sober for just about five years – so what happened? He had gone over the four years so he should have been toxin-free. Rile was extremely active in AA. He had sober friends and attended booze-free activities. What Riley did not have was the one-on-one counseling. He did not ever reach a place where he could be completely honest about anything that may have contributed to his alcoholism. To this day, he will tell you the only reason he became an alcoholic was because he liked being drunk rather than sober. He did not care about destroying anyone else’s life – wife, kids, friends – and he openly admits this as the truth. But, he cannot tell you “why” he is this way. To top it off, he uses counseling sessions to convince himself that he is “not that bad.” He also thinks of his appointments as social events. As a result he is missing one of the key elements, in my opinion, to achieving life-long sobriety. It really isn’t over until the fat lady sings and for Riley, the fat lady is on stage without a microphone or a band – she’s not singing anytime soon.


Just a reminder – most of my posts are my opinion and based on my experience combined with research on the subject matter. I’m not a doctor, lawyer, therapist, or any other “professional”. I’m a survivor and that’s all I ever claim to be.