tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6759421079279172044.post1041978175151122868..comments2024-01-01T15:38:28.710-05:00Comments on The Immortal Alcoholic: Surviving the Chaos: Nipping alligators...Linda Bartee Doynehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01820717772193440848noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6759421079279172044.post-7013183706250712002012-03-26T13:22:18.916-04:002012-03-26T13:22:18.916-04:00I discussed this entry with my son Raymond who agr...I discussed this entry with my son Raymond who agreed that he had romanticized both his cowboy but hard drinking grandfather, and his singing alcoholic father to the point that trying alcohol was just not possible for him to resist. My youngest son Dan's heroes were sports figures who could not play ball as alcoholics. Those are still his heroes today, so I think that their heroes have a lot to do with what teens especially try. <br />Having dealt with a great many alcoholics all my life, I do not think the gene is as important as others think it is. I think there is a propensity to drink yes, the teen generally has examples in his family of that, but I still there is a lot that parents can do who become totally dedicated to preventing alcoholism in the family. More must be tried. We don't know everything there is to know about it.Gerryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00771917880182186281noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6759421079279172044.post-26856623627008425532012-03-25T22:29:58.263-04:002012-03-25T22:29:58.263-04:00Linda, I understand that the loss of your son was ...Linda, I understand that the loss of your son was the worst experience of your life. Brian had a gene inside of him. You could have armed him with all of the knowledge in the world, and no matter what you couldn't prevent him from being an alcoholic. It's not your fault. It's nothing that you did, right or wrong. Not to be harsh, but had Brian died from cancer, you wouldn't have blamed yourself. Alcoholism is a disease. There is no vaccination. Don't be so hard on yourself.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6759421079279172044.post-90192859861903792552012-03-25T12:49:27.321-04:002012-03-25T12:49:27.321-04:00Linda, I don't think that there is much anyone...Linda, I don't think that there is much anyone can do because I do think that alcoholism has genetic links. Just reading Bill Wilson's story tells me that there is a physical allergy and cravings are triggered by just a small amount of alcohol. Sure, we can tell others about the disease and urge them not to drink but how many kids really listen to their parents and don't experiment with drugs or alcohol? I think that is why the Just Say No campaign did not work. <br /><br />Forgiving others is a good thing. Hoping that you forgive yourself and others in time. I am very sorry about your son.Sydhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05642843245634635843noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6759421079279172044.post-47565938785830555042012-03-25T10:27:28.891-04:002012-03-25T10:27:28.891-04:00I'm not so sure that we can educate enough to ...I'm not so sure that we can educate enough to keep people from making bad decisions. If that were the case, every young offender that went to a scared straight program would remain unincarcerated for the rest of his or her life. And nobody who watches TV would ever smoke; we've all seen the graphic commercials about the negative impact of cigarettes. <br /><br />On a personal note, I had a drunk driving MVA at 17 that valleyed my skull and tore my ear nearly off, but it took until I had a kid of my own to stop my own drunk driving. Until then I was pretty sure I was immortal and I would never be one of those statistics. <br /><br />But I do agree that it's important to interpret for our kids the actions of irresponsible drinkers and make them aware of consequences, not make excuses for them, and to show kids that there is a way out from under the influence both of drink and the drinker. <br /><br />I hope some day you can forgive everyone associated with your son's death, but mostly yourself. You did what you knew to do, and even the best seed sometimes falls on barren soil.Kibblenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6759421079279172044.post-41099723490022788132012-03-25T09:45:11.267-04:002012-03-25T09:45:11.267-04:00My two older sons with an alcoholic father and an ...My two older sons with an alcoholic father and an alcoholic grandfather who was their benefactor after I divorced their father following ten years of marriage started drinking in their teens. My dad only binged two or three times a year when they were growing up but had a long history of heavier early drinking. I decided that with my next two kids I would not have any drinking men in our home. My dad had passed, so I thought if they did not see alcoholic examples of males perhaps they would not do the drinking. <br />A few bad drinking bouts was all it took this time for me to determine I would not tolerate a husband and father of my children drinking and abusing. I had been left an inheritance from my father that helped me to be independent. He had inherited quite a large amount from his father who had not been a drinker. My own father, a bad drinker in my childhood, had a number of near death experiences from alcohol before he finally cut his drinking way back, enough to survive and make money as a rancher as his father had done before him. To make a long story shorter my son Dan, the youngest, did not drink or smoke or do drugs during high school at all. He was a joy to me, and did not really start to drink until he joined the navy. But did not do drugs or smoke. Today he does not have nearly the difficulty the older two do with alcohol. So I believe it does work to distance the kids from the bad example, making raising them more about protecting them than about protecting the self indulgent fathers.Gerryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00771917880182186281noreply@blogger.com