tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6759421079279172044.post7064444368363577064..comments2024-01-01T15:38:28.710-05:00Comments on The Immortal Alcoholic: Surviving the Chaos: Life ExpectancyLinda Bartee Doynehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01820717772193440848noreply@blogger.comBlogger93125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6759421079279172044.post-32822224662325914512021-05-30T23:21:53.050-04:002021-05-30T23:21:53.050-04:00I see a massive amount of compassion. That's w...I see a massive amount of compassion. That's what I see. I know this blog is kinda old. I've starting reasing from the beginning. Hugs to you. sospokemiseryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18161143235882892150noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6759421079279172044.post-45246924191757215072020-11-27T14:38:40.991-05:002020-11-27T14:38:40.991-05:00My son has been late stage alcoholic for at least ...My son has been late stage alcoholic for at least 30 years, and when he relapses every few months he needs medical intervention. Since his worst near-death experience, he has lived with me, and when sober he's great, when relapsing I almost lose my mind till I can send him the the ER. He's been in and out of more ERs and mini treatments than I can ever count, suffers with bipolar depression (takes meds) and has very bad knees, so can't do his usual work and is on disability. I'm 82 and folks say I'm strong, but I'm not that strong, and I feel alone in this. I'm not going to put him on the street. Period. But when this happens I resent having to deal with it into old age. My other son helps me when he can during these episodes, and he's been amazing, but for the day to day duration of these things I'm on my own. I appreciate this site so much, and I wish everyone the best.<br /> <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Mickeyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03333680645421324564noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6759421079279172044.post-2874550783174952492019-12-13T21:46:05.999-05:002019-12-13T21:46:05.999-05:00I'm not sure where to begin but my husband is ...I'm not sure where to begin but my husband is an alcoholic of many years. He hasn't been to Dr. In over a year and he is in end stage alcoholism. He doesn't want to live so he is drinking himself to death. He lost his father(he was an alcoholic) when he was 3 years old and his mother remarried an alcoholic. Years later he lost his niece and nephew in a house fire they were 4 and 6 years old. One month later my husband and his brother was at a party still distraught over fire of course and a gun was being passed around and they were just looking at it everyone thinking it was unloaded. When the gun got to my husband it went off killing his brother(his best friend).His life was never the same after that. The trauma to much. 6 years ago our nephew committed suicide which pushed him further away. Yes he has been for mental health several times but did not relieve his of his trauma. We have a beautiful daughter she is 22 years old. He loves her to the moon and back but still does not want to be here on earth. There just isn't anything more I can do. He does work but less and less all the time. He gets edema in his feet and legs, has had a chronic cough for a very long time, very fatigue and weak legs. He has diabetes, high blood pressure. He is forgetful, repeats himself and gets confused if he takes a nap.(he doesn't know if its night or morning) it is very hard not knowing exactly where he stands healthwise because he hasn't been to Dr. In a while. At some point they will stop giving refills unless he goes to Dr. The unknowing what and when to expect is very hard.<br />He's not a nice drunk! So very very hard. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6759421079279172044.post-76637473154476066892019-08-28T18:19:04.498-04:002019-08-28T18:19:04.498-04:00I lost the love of my life one year ago. He drank...I lost the love of my life one year ago. He drank himself to death at the age of 49. I shared 6 years of the purest form of love with him and the greatest hate. Loving an alcoholic is emotionally exhausting and draining. They suck the life out of you. I went through 34 detox’s with him and the longest he went was one week sober- the drinking ultimately took everything from him. He was in and out of hospitals- had to get Tips procedure. Constantly stomach drains. Ended up on disability because he lost his job. He drank 2 pints of vodka every day and couldn’t tame the beast. He hated being an alcoholic but he couldn’t stop- He could be the most charming man the world had to offer but he was often verbally abusive. This usually is the alcoholics way. It was the most toxic relationship of my entire life but he was also my greatest love. I couldn’t take the complete madness of his drinking anymore and finally left him and moved to another state just to get away from him. 3 months later he was dead. I don’t feel responsible because I invested 6 years of my life to helping him and he knew how much I loved him. He had a lot to live for but he couldn’t beat the addiction. Alcoholics take hostages. Run as fast as you can from them. Worry about saving yourself. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6759421079279172044.post-82483728296251723612019-01-07T19:09:11.816-05:002019-01-07T19:09:11.816-05:00Lost the love of my life last August after 37 year...Lost the love of my life last August after 37 years of marriage. After reading the posts on this blog I realize I was going through the downward spiral of alcoholism and watching her death like all of you. I tried to stop her over and over but she didn't want to and it was destroying our marriage and the life of our children. The emotions some of you felt were the same as what I felt then and am feeling now. Thanks to all of you for validating my feelings and helping me through this hell. I miss her so much but my life is better now and I know that I tried my all to get her to stop. But it wasn't meant to be. I will remember the wonderful woman that she was forever, my life needs to move on now without the pain some how.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6759421079279172044.post-80159085397798541212018-09-07T11:32:38.668-04:002018-09-07T11:32:38.668-04:00Back in February my brother lost his battle. As I ...Back in February my brother lost his battle. As I was going through his phone I found calls to doctors and pharmacies to get his life back in order. It was to late. I am now finishing our third summer of, what I keep hoping is the end of hell. My husband has decided he has Parkinson's Disease. He refuses to think for a moment that the alcohol has anything to do with his body refusing to work like it should. Short term memory has gotten worse. The anger has gotten worse. Like I'm responsible for all his pain. He finally has been seeing doctors, but can't understand why they can't take the pain away. He has lost so much weight and can't eat. But as usual I'm expecting him to just keep going. He may have to make the big decision to go on disability in the next few weeks. He seems to be in pain only when I'm around, so I have a hard time believing anything. I'm having a hard time. It's been 30 years now. He's like a three year old. He doesn't understand.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10321364227439453649noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6759421079279172044.post-51847025579447048472018-08-25T12:32:48.961-04:002018-08-25T12:32:48.961-04:00We're still hanging in there. The last 3 summe...We're still hanging in there. The last 3 summers have gotten worse, I expect to come home from work someday and find him dead. I think he has 'wet brain'. He can't remember how sick he is. Every now and then I find the strength to just ignore the nasty remarks and put downs. It seems to bother him. His body is falling apart, he's actually seen a couple of doctors. But he never follows through. He does know that drinking and smoking will be the first thing he'll have to stop. KATHY HATCHnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6759421079279172044.post-85508421016880149242018-08-16T14:08:01.264-04:002018-08-16T14:08:01.264-04:00I feel so blessed to have found this site. I, too...I feel so blessed to have found this site. I, too, was using Google to find out if end stage alcoholism was painful. My partner of fours years, (long distance relationship) was found dead in his home just one week ago today. He was an alcoholic. The coroner said he died of acute alcoholism. I saw him just three weeks ago, and while I knew he was unwell, I didn't expect this. I had tried to talk to him about his drinking and he would get very defensive. He had been so incredibly verbally abusive and mean. However, I loved him deeply and promised to always stay by his side, as if I was some type of hero. I promised never to abandon him. He was my soul mate and my best friend. I am angry that he chose the booze over me, his children, his grandchildren. I'm angry I didn't get to say goodbye. I wonder what his last hours were like. I'm so very sad.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6759421079279172044.post-74192916183741864862018-08-07T01:28:35.753-04:002018-08-07T01:28:35.753-04:00Thank you for this astute observation. It just ga...Thank you for this astute observation. It just gave me such a reality check. I have been with an alcoholic/drug addict for 27 years. It has never gotten better. He drinks and drugs so hard I can't believe his body marches on. I keep thinking he must have a constitution of steel. I worry about him psychologically as well as physically. He shows violent tendancies. I think it's time to protect myself and get out. I have gained insight and strength from each of you. I also agree with you that the kindest thing would be for the Lord to take him. He still thinks he has no problem even with liver disease, kidney disease, and heart disease. Thanks to each of you for blogging.PuppyMomnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6759421079279172044.post-57204270172959780712018-03-10T10:35:05.991-05:002018-03-10T10:35:05.991-05:00It passes. I am 17 years post filing for divorce ...It passes. I am 17 years post filing for divorce from the 20 year marriage to the love of my life, wonderful man (alcoholic), father of my two children, who brought joy and then horror into our lives. Best decision I ever made. Hardest path I ever walked. He committed suicide 12 years ago (at 51), and his final wish was that his siblings (parents had passed) should never speak to me again. The guilt created psychological hell for us for years. The elder child was 18 at time of suicide and has embraced a life of excessive control and fear (this saddens me, but it her life to captain), the younger child was 14 at the time of the suicide and is recognizing that she wants a better life than one pulled upon by a closeted eating disorder (she has self worth and sees the issues are not her doing). I married for survival of all of us 13 years ago. My husband adores me for qualities I cannot see, my ability to love a man is diminished, but I am back. I am smart and capable and a model for my adult children. I have an excellent job, am well respected at work and able to support all of us. I know why I loved a man who was emotionally a child. I know I saved 3 people from poverty, and likely death on the street. Just my story. My alcoholic made me walk the hardest path. I will always love the man I saw when I was engaging in fantasy thinking. But live in the real word. I wished for his death. People do that. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6759421079279172044.post-47345348704111834232018-01-12T11:07:29.786-05:002018-01-12T11:07:29.786-05:00My husband doesn't follow the general alcoholi...My husband doesn't follow the general alcoholic symptoms. He works 7 days a week. I think he has 'wet brain'. His memory totally stinks. But he's so skinny, I know he's losing weight. His body or his brain, is attacking itself. He seems to be falling apart from the inside. None of the doctors said anything about his kidneys or liver. I feel like he's going to be around forever and he's getting more verbal abusive. I don't make enough to leave and don't want to go to a shelter.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6759421079279172044.post-91861858928595041762018-01-09T14:39:17.772-05:002018-01-09T14:39:17.772-05:00My husband and I have been married for almost 10 y...My husband and I have been married for almost 10 years now. He is an alcoholic. Other than communion at church and given as a remedy for a sore throat as a child, I have never had any alcohol. My husband has been in the hospital for 5 days now. I had to call an ambulance for him. When I got home from work he had a severe head ache, body aches, and his blood pressure was 224/102 when I checked it before calling 911. Almost 5 years ago, he had a heart attack and triple bypass surgery. Since then he has developed diabetes. The edema in his legs had gotten so bad that they looked like they would explode. Whenever he would bump his leg on something the skin would break open and clear liquid would run down his leg, and it would not want to heal. Since I am trying to keep my business afloat, I am not constantly sitting with him in the hospital. And it seems I always miss the doctors when they come to see him. So I have not been able to talk with them. When I ask my husband about what the doctors have to say he is very vague and says they don't know what is wrong with him. So I started googling his symptoms and came across alcoholism in the late stages. I learned early on in our marriage not to bring up anything related to his alcoholism. He gets very abusive if I do. And he has been hiding his drinking and thinks I don't know about it. But I can tell when he's been drinking and I have found the bottles. I guess I am just wondering if anyone else has seen these type symptoms in your alcoholics and could let me know what to expect next. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6759421079279172044.post-17176378912272350652018-01-05T20:19:33.697-05:002018-01-05T20:19:33.697-05:00Thank you I get tired of all the negative comments...Thank you I get tired of all the negative comments I get from people for standing by my husbandAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6759421079279172044.post-20502839160785644402017-12-13T16:20:36.866-05:002017-12-13T16:20:36.866-05:00I am married for 25 years to high functioning alco...I am married for 25 years to high functioning alcoholic although living separately from him for last 5 years with our daughter. He is much older than me and was my employer; he is manipulative and emotionally abusive towards me, and he and his family have been playing me off each other so that I have been too depressed and down trodden to escape - as he was my ex employer and a consultant in the NHS I feared trying to get my old job back to support myself because he would malign me - he is a charming man to people who don't know or live with him.<br />He now has cerebellar ataxia and Wernick Korsakoff syndrome due to brain damage from the drink. His kidneys no longer work and he has a catheter and prostate cancer; I am involved with his care and have power of attorney in exchange for a share of his pension as I am stuck with a job that doesn't pay enough. I wish I knew how I could have protected myself from this!<br />Lnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6759421079279172044.post-71254963808956900732017-11-20T14:52:23.878-05:002017-11-20T14:52:23.878-05:00I feel I don't belong here. My husband while b...I feel I don't belong here. My husband while busy drinking himself to death, (more than 40 years). He has emphysema and a growth in his lung. I don't know what pain he may be in. He says he's been dying for that last 20+ years. But for now he works 7 nights a week. We've been through rehabs, and as long as I provide him with what he needs, cigarettes and booze, he usually just leaves me alone. But IF he doesn't get what he wants or feel is his due, he is nasty and vindictive. He even disabled the car if things don't go his way. He went through some paperwork and found something that made him so mad he hasn't talked to me in days. The tension is very thick. I'm just waiting for him to die. But like so many others he seems to have a long awful road before he gets close. I've made it this far, but I don't know how much more I can take. There is only one friend, no family, even my kids stay away. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6759421079279172044.post-24160189418374321972017-11-01T16:27:32.315-04:002017-11-01T16:27:32.315-04:00I am married to a wonderful woman who I discovered...I am married to a wonderful woman who I discovered a year into our marriage is an alcoholic. Her drinking started several years before we met and she masterfully hid her drinking for the first year of our marriage. She has over the years broken bones and suffered multiple bruises over her hips, legs and arms.<br />We separated for a year and a half and she sobered up under the watchful eye of a close friend. She resented the close scrutiny but I decided to give it another try. She has returned to her drinking with a vengeance and at every chance a wine bottle or box or bag is emptied. I am scared personally, professionally, financially and wonder what do I have to look forward to with her? Her family is useless and I seem to be made out as the evil doer. She refuses seek out help and I on edge. I am thinking about separating and divorcing her before she drags me down with her. I am really unhappy :(Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01692435922018753384noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6759421079279172044.post-44395917101491815652017-09-29T10:49:16.837-04:002017-09-29T10:49:16.837-04:00I'm glad for you, and I'm sad for you. I&#...I'm glad for you, and I'm sad for you. I'm also glad for GOOD new memories. God Bless You.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10321364227439453649noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6759421079279172044.post-51900697617897312822017-09-27T15:23:44.231-04:002017-09-27T15:23:44.231-04:00My husband of 27 years is now dying of liver cance...My husband of 27 years is now dying of liver cancer which he got a reoccurrence of after his transplant last year. He is emaciated and losing his hair now from the chemo. It's hard to see the energetic fun beautiful man he was when I met him years ago. The cancer was brought on by cirrhosis which he got from untreated hep c and heavy drinking. He went through all the things described in the previous comments, he blew up his varices, he detoxed in the icu one time close to death. I was ready to leave him but I did not want to share my 401k and pay him alimony since he is on disability. Then he got cancer and in time he stopped drinking - got cured of the hep c in preparation for the transplant that the doctors said had a 90% chance of curing him. We entered a very good part of our marriage - I was so glad to have the man I married back without the drinking and lying. But unfortunately he is in the 10% that gets the cancer back and now he is terminal. I don't look back and regret the time I spent dealing with his drinking - I had my own reasons - I'm just sad now that this is what it took to get him sober and it's too late.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6759421079279172044.post-16015941165325986012017-08-21T08:24:49.955-04:002017-08-21T08:24:49.955-04:00I'm sorry. The alcohol has changed the man I m...I'm sorry. The alcohol has changed the man I married to one I don't want to know. I just survived another long summer of being put down every day. I say the words, but the love that was once there has been destroyed. About 10 years ago we found out his memory was failing. The internet said it's not good when the brain is involved. He just makes up stories and gets angry when I have no idea what he's talking about. If asked about something he says he must have had a good reason. My mother was an alcoholic and she died suddenly 35 years ago. My family has still not recovered. But day in and day out of abuse wears a person down. I have to be grateful for him, I have 2 great kids and now a grandson. So on good days I try to remember the good things. But they are getting farther apart. I still talk to my mother everyday. We wonder how different things might have different had she not died so fast.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6759421079279172044.post-42125862535918770752017-08-03T22:33:46.160-04:002017-08-03T22:33:46.160-04:00My 45 yr old, high-functioning, alcoholic husband...My 45 yr old, high-functioning, alcoholic husband went into the ER with severe, lower abdominal pain. He died two days later. This was 14 wks ago. In the past year I had noticed he was spiraling. This was not new in our 21 yrs together. Nothing was different other than in the last two yrs he'd added 2-4 airline shots to his daily 24 oz beer. This was a man who never was sick. His biggest enemy was his own brain. I know this sounds crazy, but, I'd rather the major disfunction over his dead ANY DAY. I'm a 40 yr old widow. He was my world. He was my family. I'm reeling from the pain. Why has no cure been found for this disease?? His pain was the result of an acutly necrotizing pancreas. He was septic and died from multi-organ failure. When do you hear about pancreatitis and alcoholism??!!! It's usually the liver you always hear about...I don't feel relief of any kind. I loved this man with every fiber of my being and he, me. I loved HIM but hated his disease!!! LCBShttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01385546080767288776noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6759421079279172044.post-55927439360297031872017-08-01T12:47:50.230-04:002017-08-01T12:47:50.230-04:00Mine took a new turn. Last summer we found out he ...Mine took a new turn. Last summer we found out he has severe emphysema. So as usual he self medicated with alcohol. He's now drinking beer and a half gallon of Yukon only lasts 10 days. He now has a rare kind of pneumonia or lung cancer. Tomorrow he has a biopsy scheduled. His verbal abuse has taken a new low. His memory has gotten worse to the point that everyone else is drinking his booze, not him. I'm sorry, but I'm happy for you. If you try al-anon, after a while it actually feels like the stress has been reduced. Maybe it gave the feeling I really wasn't alone. No one comes to my house unless they want to drink with him. My kids only visit after he goes to bed. He's night-shift so that's early afternoon. God Bless you all. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10321364227439453649noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6759421079279172044.post-8694986374692358382017-07-31T14:26:59.830-04:002017-07-31T14:26:59.830-04:00My guy is now in the hospital because he was in a ...My guy is now in the hospital because he was in a motel for a week, drank vodka every day and ate nothing. I phoned a crisis intervention team from our area and they immediately had him transported to the hospital. Will be in there for several weeks - he is a complete mess - but the doctors and social workers are looking for places for him to go after hospital because I am not able to take of him now - he can't even walk at this point and his mind comes and goes - I feel he is on the end of his journey but even though I am his POA and deal with the doctors etc. I am so relieved that this burden is at least partly off my shoulders. I was drowning. Helen in Hellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16128994920047511019noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6759421079279172044.post-81037313249743086602017-07-16T23:20:20.187-04:002017-07-16T23:20:20.187-04:00Sorry for your loss. My husband is a alcohol 31 yr...Sorry for your loss. My husband is a alcohol 31 yrs old iv been with him for 13 yrs and I'm scared he will die from it. It breaks my heart everyday. We have two kids and I fear for them and myself. Don't have money for rehab. He trys to stop but never stays to it. Any advice.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6759421079279172044.post-49768202515668277832017-07-07T13:47:08.794-04:002017-07-07T13:47:08.794-04:00My partner has been an alcoholic for over 30 years...My partner has been an alcoholic for over 30 years. I have been living with him for 7 of those years - I stupidly didn't know about his problem when we moved in together. He is 64 years old and in the past 10 years has had pancreitus, his varices blown up (while we were on a holiday in St. Maarten and he had to be air ambulanced home for 30k), his stomach swell and have to be drained and septic blood poisoning. He has been to 4 rehabs and 4 detoxes. All to no avail. He will not go to another rehab and he won't stop, though he vows he will stay alive - if that is what you want to call it - I don't call it living - it is a body existing. My 20 year old daughter is moving out at my expense to an apartment because he would go in to her room and drink her wine and replace it with water - like she wouldn't notice. She hates him - his own daughter will have nothing to do with him - for 3 years she hasn't even communicated with him. I want peace and do not want to live this kind of life - but he won't leave. I even went so far as to call the police and have them take him to a motel - early in the morning he took a cab back, fell face first on my front porch and bled until I dragged him in the house. How much can a body take? I have been to emerg so many times for falls it is ridiculous. I came home from work 3 weeks ago and the entire bedroom and bathroom was full of blood from a fall he took. It took me over 4 hours to clean it up and it dripped all down the pipe to the furnace. This is a living hell and I too have wished he would just die. I never invite people over because he is unfiltered and talks meanly and filthily. At night he moans, yells and swears which makes it impossible to get a night's sleep. HE WON'T LEAVE even though I own the house. What is a body to do - I am working every day on 1-2 hours sleep and it is killing me. If what I see in these blogs is true, he could go on till he is in his 70s. Even adding in smoking every day and not eating right doesn't seem to have an effect. I pray, pray that something will end this hell I live in every day of my life.Helen in Hellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16128994920047511019noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6759421079279172044.post-61106800660726981522017-05-23T10:13:11.763-04:002017-05-23T10:13:11.763-04:00Years ago...I wondered and wondered how much longe...Years ago...I wondered and wondered how much longer a late stage alcoholic with untreated diabetes could live. I constantly googled it like google was a psychic...I visited real psychics to find out...finally (after 10 ears of hoping and crying) I saw a divorce attorney who told me to wait. She had three other clients in the same position and their husbands died before the divorce and they got everything. I did ...he died last March. I pray he has found peace because I have, at last. I'm sorry to lose the man he was...but I lost him years ago.<br />I felt so guilty waiting for his end. I'm finally free of guilt, too.<br />Bless you all.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17271705804074773396noreply@blogger.com