tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6759421079279172044.post7357281394975660099..comments2024-01-01T15:38:28.710-05:00Comments on The Immortal Alcoholic: Surviving the Chaos: Rain on the horizon...Linda Bartee Doynehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01820717772193440848noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6759421079279172044.post-5873197100489712532012-03-26T08:51:36.091-04:002012-03-26T08:51:36.091-04:00FYI -- I never told Agent Scott that Riley was an ...FYI -- I never told Agent Scott that Riley was an alcoholic. I just said he was ill. However, I did tell him that my Mom had a cardiac condition and my brother had leukemia. There was nothing in the phone call about alcoholism.<br /><br />Also, the conversation started because the years Riley is missing is 2001 & 2002. Agent Scott told me that a lot of people got off track in that time frame and he thought it was due to the stress of 9/11. He asked what was going on in Riley's or my life during that time frame. I was caretaking my Mom and then my brother -- so the discussion went from there.<br /><br />Agent Scott was never in any way disrespectful to me -- in spite of his opinions. The IRS is not responsible for any problems in my life. They are simply an agency that employs people who are assigned a very difficult task. I would not want their job.<br /><br />Everyone has an opinion and everyone has a right to that opinion. I may not always agree with an opinion, but I respect the right to express it. Agent Scott expressed his opinion but I don't have to agree with it.Linda -- Immortal Alcoholic's Wifehttp://www.immortalalcoholic.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6759421079279172044.post-50923658551054140142012-03-25T22:19:43.989-04:002012-03-25T22:19:43.989-04:00I am a faithful follower of this blog; however, I ...I am a faithful follower of this blog; however, I must chip in to say that if you are OK with negative feedback, why do you take it so personally to place so much emphasis on Agent Scott's opinions? Had a representative who worked for the Humane Society, AARP or QVC talked to you in the same manner, would you have moved so quickly to bash that person on your blog as well? <br /><br />Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. But it seems unfair to put a label on a group when it is a single individual who put the bad taste in your mouth in the first place. <br /><br />Granted, Agent Scott's two-cents' worth should not have been relayed during that call. He should have stuck to what he knows, taxes. As it turns out, one of Agent Scott's co-workers has an end-stage alcoholic parent AND is 2 years into recovery him/herself. Had you gotten that employee on the call, he/she would have listened with an open mind, given you the answer to the tax question at hand and told you to have a nice weekend. That employee would be ME.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6759421079279172044.post-25228119753137111982012-03-25T22:16:11.545-04:002012-03-25T22:16:11.545-04:00I am a faithful follower of this blog; however, I ...I am a faithful follower of this blog; however, I must chip in to say that if you are OK with negative feedback, why do you take it so personally to place so much emphasis on Agent Scott's opinions? Had a representative who worked for the Humane Society, AARP or QVC talked to you in the same manner, would you have moved so quickly to bash that person on your blog as well? <br /><br />Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. But it seems unfair to put a label on a group when it is a single individual who put the bad taste in your mouth in the first place. <br /><br />Granted, Agent Scott's two-cents' worth should not have been relayed during that call. He should have stuck to what he knows, taxes. As it turns out, one of Agent Scott's co-workers has an end-stage alcoholic parent AND is 2 years into recovery him/herself. Had you gotten that employee on the call, he/she would have listened with an open mind, given you the answer to the tax question at hand and told you to have a nice weekend. That employee would be ME.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6759421079279172044.post-80253734359844016162012-03-25T12:06:57.208-04:002012-03-25T12:06:57.208-04:00Wow, for the sake of peaceful detachment, I choose...Wow, for the sake of peaceful detachment, I choose to think this guy thought he was helping you. He was probably still in "IRS-mode" and came off poorly. Most people have no idea what the hell they're talking about, esp when it comes to dealing with an alcoholic and the system. The only rehab program that medicare paid for (for my mom) was a horrid place they also put all other kinds of addicts into, along with mental health patients the state was stuck with. Otherwise it's been 3 rounds of self-pay. Insurance only applies if it can piggy-back onto medicare an guess what, the "good" places don't take medicare, so you are S.O.L. Bet mom never thought she'd be spending her life savings on rehab that has only gained her 30 days or so of sobriety each time. Ughh. We are screwed. I sure wish we had more than 1 al-anon meeting per week here; the AA's have one ever day, but the multitudes of people that have to deal with their shit get one at 1pm on a weekday. Yeah, that's do-able. Harumph... : ) Like I said, peaceful detachment....Kyranoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6759421079279172044.post-51520789792259419462012-03-24T10:19:54.947-04:002012-03-24T10:19:54.947-04:00PLEASE do not stop blogging.I don't know how y...PLEASE do not stop blogging.I don't know how you find the time and heart to do it, but you are a life line for me. I live with an AH who drinks over a half bottle of liquor every single day, smokes two packs of cigarettes every day, and has done so for over 5 years now at that rate. Prior to that smoked a pack a day and drank "heavily," for what totals now to be about 21 years. The last 5-6 have been the worst. He hasn't seen a doctor EVER. (I have reason to believe that there is cirrhosis . . . won't go into the details. Not to mention extraordinarily HIGH blood pressure and cholesterol that could take him at anytime.) The health issues are starting to pop up, although he still won't see a doctor. (Laughs them off really) AND although he has been "highly functioning" at his job, that may be coming to an end. I'm seeing changes that appear to be long term. Please pray for my teenage boys and I.<br /><br />For whatever reason, God has asked me to stay in this marriage. Truly, I want out. But, God is asking me to minister by speaking about Jesus to him daily and praying. My feeling is that this is not going to end well. His health appears to be taking a tragic turn. I'm amazed that he even wakes up each day. I have no idea what lies ahead. (he is age 47)<br /><br />Your blog has frightened me, BUT mostly given me hope. Deep inside I just want it to be over. I'm tired of the daily agony of watching someone kill themselves. My AH's family tried to intervene and get him rehab help, he no longer speaks to them. Somehow, miraculously, God is holding my boys and I, through our faith, our days are mostly filled with unexplainable joy and peace. God protects and provides. I am beyond thankful. But, I also realize, this can't go on. Or at least I hope it won't. I wish, as you do, that there were some definite end in sight. You can deal with that. The hardest part is not knowing day to day. But, I know God is using this to build my trust in Him. I'm being obedient to what He's asking me to do. I know God is faithful. <br /><br />I just daily pray for deliverance. As I now pray for you. It is hard for most people to understand . . . staying with the AH. It's NOT enabling by any means . . . to me, it's loving as Christ loved. Jesus didn't push the man into the healing pool of Bethsheda. Jesus asked him, "Do you WANT to get well?" It's not our choice, the individual has made their own choice and they make the choices every day. <br /><br />Thank you endlessly for this blog. I have been following for a month or so now and got caught up by reading blog posts of the past. You are truly and angel on earth to those of us silently suffering through this pain.(BTW, please don't listen to those who criticize you . . . others of us . . . we need you.)<br /><br />I pray for your strength and peace. And I pray that you will have deliverance to set you free.<br />Blessings.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6759421079279172044.post-18939555895736679212012-03-23T20:35:09.218-04:002012-03-23T20:35:09.218-04:00hMaybe he's just young. Life has a way of teac...hMaybe he's just young. Life has a way of teaching things that we never want to learn.Gabriele Goldstonehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04481625919437738131noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6759421079279172044.post-48468850539493212392012-03-23T18:32:55.661-04:002012-03-23T18:32:55.661-04:00Medicare has a limit to the number of days-- somet...Medicare has a limit to the number of days-- something like 63. Medicaid is for those who have exhausted all resources except for an allowance of $2000. And with the cost of nursing homes and such, that is not hard to do. I would say that this agent was naive. Perhaps he was trying to be helpful, but the reality is that nearly all financial resources have to be spent before a long term solution will kick in.Sydhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05642843245634635843noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6759421079279172044.post-25867897470269205852012-03-23T13:14:56.883-04:002012-03-23T13:14:56.883-04:00that is so ridiculous that you even had a conversa...that is so ridiculous that you even had a conversation like that with this guy. If I were his superior at work he'd be fired for it. not his place to say any of those things to you, not at all.Anybethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01193999238104640590noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6759421079279172044.post-37430514559379602082012-03-23T11:02:26.087-04:002012-03-23T11:02:26.087-04:00Yeah, this guy lives in a bubble and has probably ...Yeah, this guy lives in a bubble and has probably never had to face true poverty or financial difficulty in his life. Even though Canada (where I'm from) has a pretty good welfare system (for now), it's still pretty difficult for anyone to save money if they make less than $30,000/year (and most social assistance programs pay a lot less than that), and it's not getting any easier. People like your IRS guy make me angry, because they're the ones who make such a big fuss about "hand outs"...it's easy to say hand outs are bad when you've never really needed one.<br /><br />Whatever happened to the idea of helping your neighbour, showing generosity, caring for others?Drymarchttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09783317795440265252noreply@blogger.com