tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6759421079279172044.post8384285240057153961..comments2024-01-01T15:38:28.710-05:00Comments on The Immortal Alcoholic: Surviving the Chaos: Leopards don't change their spotsLinda Bartee Doynehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01820717772193440848noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6759421079279172044.post-19548359555689879412015-10-29T09:44:17.789-04:002015-10-29T09:44:17.789-04:00I apologize for my last post, it was extremely inc...I apologize for my last post, it was extremely inconsiderate. I stumbled upon this blog today and all my anger came flying out, triggered by my brother begging me to contact him via email. I felt panic, anger and guilt and went on a rant. So the take no notice of me, I'm a weak, confused person who doesn't know how to handle my alcoholic brother so have run away from my problems with him and through my whole life. carolnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6759421079279172044.post-41217673182357202232015-10-29T06:34:32.189-04:002015-10-29T06:34:32.189-04:00In amazed any relatives bother with alcoholics. Th...In amazed any relatives bother with alcoholics. They destroy your life along with theirs if you stick around. My father, brother and sister all alcoholics, father vanished, sister age 56 died of alcoholic haemorrhage and brother age 60 in a wheelchair and care home with alcoholic peripheral neuropathy.<br /><br />My father was violent and erratic, my siblings and I were in and out of care growing up as my parents couldn't parent.<br /><br />My sister was a nasty horrible aggressive woman who scared me and I'm glad she died as it was impossible to free myself from her demands despite living miles away, once she started on my own kids I finally broke free of her.<br /><br />My brother was dumped a year or so ago And I feel nothing but happiness and relief My husband thinks I'm hard for not keeping in contact with him Oh the joy of not having to take drunken phone calls in the middle of the night Nor being rung up in tears demanding money because he spent it all in drink, I haven't seen him in 30 years I literally moved to the other end of the country But he would phone me every single day It wasn't about love he was just incredibly needy and he had driven everybody local away from him Including his wife and children Of course I love him When we were young children But once he became an alcoholic He did many inappropriate things Including sexual abuseWhy I bother to keep in contact with him for years I will never know It was only recently That the pastor at my church Said to me I can forgive him But I do not have to keep in contact with him I have put him out of my mind I don't even want to know when he dies As it will be too upsetting. When my mother died when I was 16 I had nowhere to live and became homeless, At that time both my sister and brother had their own homes yet neither of them took me in , I left school to get a job and flat , I was 16, that grudge has always been in the back of my mind, A Small Part of my refusal to keep in contact with him and dumping him out of the blue Was revenge I admit it However now Of course I am sorry for doing that Or rather I mean I am sorry that was part of the motivation at that time However like I said I have felt nothing but release and relief ever since Am I best advice to anybody who is in Close contact with an alcoholic Is wrong in the opposite direction as fast as you can you will not regret it It will not get any better for you It will be two lives wasted rather than onecarolnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6759421079279172044.post-63597871064152612482015-10-25T15:51:05.763-04:002015-10-25T15:51:05.763-04:00Hi
I would like to suggest that my program of Alan...Hi<br />I would like to suggest that my program of Alanon has allowed me to put the focus on me instead of the alcoholic. I have MY life back and will choose to keep that focus going forward<br /><br />In service<br />Canadian gal<br /><br />Ps hugs for youAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6759421079279172044.post-11836524124211199322015-10-17T10:54:06.320-04:002015-10-17T10:54:06.320-04:00The 10 Commandments of Dysfunctional Families
http...The 10 Commandments of Dysfunctional Families<br />http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com/Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6759421079279172044.post-25252488564027277002015-10-16T12:15:56.633-04:002015-10-16T12:15:56.633-04:00I have been having a hard time lately.Some days I ... I have been having a hard time lately.Some days I just want to throw my hands up and say F*** it, I don't care anymore! Which I really do care but....<br /> I make myself sick over thinking and all the what if's. What if I quit giving him his meds, what if I quit making sure he goes to his Dr. appointments, what if I didn't buy him his beer for the night. He does make a point of telling me "Someday you won't have to do this anymore.". Some days I wish it would be sooner than later. I almost wish it would have happened when he had his esophageal varices last Dec., as now the kids and I have to sit and watch and suffer right along with him and HIS choice to continue drinking!<br /><br /> Some days I wonder why I try to help Garry, he doesn't care about himself,why should I? He doesn't take his meds unless I give them to him, he won't do his insulin unless I give it to him. He is very demanding, if I don't jump when he yells the whole house know about it.<br /> <br /> I can tell when his ammonia levels are up, the mood swings almost become unbearable! Fine one minute and flying off the wall the next. We have grown adult kids who he feels it is my responsibility to still care for. I have my hands full with him, let alone worry what the kids are doing. He won't ask them himself I always have to.<br /> <br /> His work has some idea of what is going on with his health, but he isn't totally honest with them. I try to keep them in the loop. He said yesterday he they had him sign a form as to where his last paycheck would go in the event of his passing. It didn't phase him. I'm glad he is still able to work, if he didn't I know all he would do is sit home a drink his waking hours like he does on his off days.<br /><br />I know his sleep patterns are getting worse. I'm a very hard sleeper, so I don't even know for sure, but I find it strange when I go to wake him some mornings he is naked under the covers. I'm not sure if he is just not making to the bathroom in time (he is on pills for the edema & ascites) and to lazy to find clean underwear or what.<br /><br /> Thank you!!<br /> Teresanoreply@blogger.com