tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6759421079279172044.post9181403691610677918..comments2024-01-01T15:38:28.710-05:00Comments on The Immortal Alcoholic: Surviving the Chaos: Silence of the children...Linda Bartee Doynehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01820717772193440848noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6759421079279172044.post-71635576929658280542015-04-28T14:24:57.253-04:002015-04-28T14:24:57.253-04:00I grew up the only child in an alcoholic house hol...I grew up the only child in an alcoholic house hold and in my experience I represented all of these personalities with the main emphasis on the hero.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09286975979611625780noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6759421079279172044.post-16858564424370300352015-03-28T13:32:09.017-04:002015-03-28T13:32:09.017-04:00I was the oldest daughter of an alcoholic who was ...I was the oldest daughter of an alcoholic who was suicidal, and I saw it as my job to try to keep my dad from committing suicide since he was a binge drinker and a hard worker and good manager during the week when he was sober. I feared we would know absolute poverty if he succeeded in killing himself, and my mother, although not an alcoholic, became a very angry person apt to take out her frustrations on his kids by whippings since she was not strong enough to whip him. She knew it upset him for her to whip us for no good reason. I also kept secrets I thought would put my mother at higher risk if I told her as there was often violence when he was drinking. Gerryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00771917880182186281noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6759421079279172044.post-78065768822757898442015-03-27T16:49:03.261-04:002015-03-27T16:49:03.261-04:00I was the hero, until I was 53. Growing up in a ho...I was the hero, until I was 53. Growing up in a home with an alcoholic parent stays with you for your entire life. Not until I was able to stop playing the hero, could I gain control over my own alcoholism. Insightful post. Thank you very much.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6759421079279172044.post-68234241977681044372015-03-27T15:59:43.502-04:002015-03-27T15:59:43.502-04:00My children were both the LOST CHILD. They would ...My children were both the LOST CHILD. They would isolate themselves to be away from the problem. Actually I would take my boys and myself away from the problem as often as possible. Vacations, outings, other activities....my boys had a lot of together time with ME.<br /><br />My husband is dead now and the "problem is gone." I put both of my sons into therapy immediately; the youngest, who was a very angry child, responded really well to cognitive therapy and for all intents and purposes is 'fine.' My oldest son said he didn't need therapy (a bit of a HERO there) but completely fell apart in high school and is now in intensive therapy otherwise he has panic attacks. So there....<br /><br />One thing that I did do was - throughout the entire time - I would talk honestly with my sons about what was happening and elicit their opinions, ideas and desires. We stayed until the bitter end because we - as a family group - decided to stay. But we have been in recovery ever since.... <br /><br />It is so hard to know what to do - not often as cut and dried as outsiders might think it is.afterthefire1964https://www.blogger.com/profile/17718515709192293074noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6759421079279172044.post-85895747187580166222015-03-27T15:59:22.157-04:002015-03-27T15:59:22.157-04:00My children were both the LOST CHILD. They would ...My children were both the LOST CHILD. They would isolate themselves to be away from the problem. Actually I would take my boys and myself away from the problem as often as possible. Vacations, outings, other activities....my boys had a lot of together time with ME.<br /><br />My husband is dead now and the "problem is gone." I put both of my sons into therapy immediately; the youngest, who was a very angry child, responded really well to cognitive therapy and for all intents and purposes is 'fine.' My oldest son said he didn't need therapy (a bit of a HERO there) but completely fell apart in high school and is now in intensive therapy otherwise he has panic attacks. So there....<br /><br />One thing that I did do was - throughout the entire time - I would talk honestly with my sons about what was happening and elicit their opinions, ideas and desires. We stayed until the bitter end because we - as a family group - decided to stay. But we have been in recovery ever since.... <br /><br />It is so hard to know what to do - not often as cut and dried as outsiders might think it is.afterthefire1964https://www.blogger.com/profile/17718515709192293074noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6759421079279172044.post-75645909522733865822015-03-27T11:09:42.801-04:002015-03-27T11:09:42.801-04:00Addy,
IMHO it is because that this their "no...Addy,<br /> IMHO it is because that this their "normal". It is what feels comfortable and like home to them.<br />Sarahnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6759421079279172044.post-44997239604765802802015-03-27T03:25:02.922-04:002015-03-27T03:25:02.922-04:00I found in my experience of others at Al-Anon meet...I found in my experience of others at Al-Anon meetings that somehow once a child of an alcoholic grows up they go on to have alcoholic problems themselves or marry an alcoholic. Quite why this happens, I don't know.ADDYhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01018958238940897902noreply@blogger.com