Today I have a guest poster who is one of
my Twitter followers. In my opinion,
this guy knows his stuff. This posting is primarily for all my alcoholic
readers who are struggling with recovery. There may be some help for you
through Mr. Callahan. This one is for you!
Dan Callahan is bad boy who found his way
after many detours down the wrong path of life. He ended up on the right road
and eventually earned a Master’s Degree from Fordham University in Social Work.
He primarily works with patients struggling with substance abuse. He played a
significant role in Hands Across Long Island which is the largest and most
prominent consumer run mental health agency in the United States. He is the
co-author of a New York State training manual and program for mental health and
correction service professionals who work with parolees with “serious and
persistent mental illness.” All that was taken from his website http://www.happyrecovery.com/
From Dan:
Inaction
breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds
confidence and courage. If you want to
conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy. --Dale
Carnegie
Fear paralyzes the best of us. When it comes to alcoholism and addiction
more often than not neither the addict nor the family members heed the signs
that something is awry early on. Often
fear of taking any action paralyzes them into hoping beyond hope that it is
going to get better, somehow.
For the addict it is all they know. They justify their use, they do all they can
to minimize the challenges they face due to their use. But in the end if they are afflicted with the
"creature" they continue to sink deeper into addiction.
For the family, they just want to believe
that it is going to get better. That by
some miraculous act of God their loved one is just going to stop! They are going to get through their phase and
get on with their lives.
Without action nothing changes. Hoping is not action, praying is a
start. For the addict an evaluation of
how far it has gone and seeking an experts advice on a plan of action is necessary. For the family, an evaluation of the
situation and seek expert advice on how to bring the message to their loved one
in a way that illicit's positive action.
Finally, when the steps are apparent take definitive action. Recovery requires making the decision to recover. What does recovery entail? It starts with complete abstinence, followed by change. We must change how we think if we are going to find joy. How we think about life, family, friends, alcohol, drugs, and what we really want out of our lives.
Recovery is possible
for the family and the addict. But not
without decisive action!
*******************
Visit Dan on his
website or twitter him as Happy Recovery.
I welcome requests
for being a guest poster on my blog. I’m especially looking for stories from
other caretakers of end-stage alcoholics, but I have a strong following of
alcoholics and need to hear from you as well. I’m not an alcoholic and need to
hear what it is like to be on the receiving end of the caretaking. Knowledge
and understanding is the key to survival.
Please join me by
helping me help others.
Thanks.
I believe in what Dan says, but with an alcoholic who is very resistant to being involved in any outside activities I keep myself busy instead which serves to interest him probably as much as anything could. For example I am meeting my son this morning to the Farmer's Market for a weekly talk. He has fought a binge alcohol problem, but has been completely sober since last summer when he burned his trailer down while on a binge, or it burned down by itself, but people tend to associate a bad fire with the on site alcoholic. We have a lot of fun and we are often joined by other people he knows since he is very gregarious. We are now getting up a big theater party for the pay as you can preview performance of the play he is directing, "Lorca in a Green Dress." I just wish I could invite the whole world. But I have seen what happens to alcoholics in here who isolate. They die! I am signed in under Doc's name so will become Anonymous instead. Gerry
ReplyDeletei look forward to hearing from other alcoholics..altho i prob wont comment much. i am afraid my anger would come out at someone it shouldnt. which would be so unfair.
ReplyDeletetruly i strive sometimes to even like my A, much less care for him. it is so hard when they arent likable, and downright mean.
i wish any addict in recovery all the best in the world. you have chosen life. i applaud that.
i would like to know more about the addict mindset. why they choose death and such meanness over loving someone? guess if we knew this,we could all be rich.
addiction is far more than taking a substance. it is complicated, brain issues and how they handle life. it also is why would anyone choose to hurt their families? it is foreign to me.
thanks to dan for posting. i hope he comes back often. i want him to know there is far more to a addict than just them. we matter , the families. the ones who care, or used to care. and we are so often tossed aside more than the addict is.
congrats gerry, on your son. and to him. my daughter has been clean and sober now for a few yrs. all on her own. my A throws a fit over taking out the trash. lol. much less any other outside activities. he talks a big one...never will do it. it seems talking is the same to him as him actually doing it. weird.
Dan provides some good thoughts about action.
ReplyDelete