This was sent to me about an upcoming series that addresses the various stages of alcoholism. If you would like to participate in this program, please send a bit about your story to the below e-mail address. They are looking for people in all the various stages.
Our
relationships with alcohol are complex and no longer fit the traditional black
and white model of use and abuse. While many documentaries exist about alcohol
abuse - we feel few reflect the realities that many of us face when it comes to
our relationships with alcohol use. Most of our stories are not black or
white- but fall in the more subtle and complex grey zone. Our goal is to
feature about eight different people whose stories are different but
collectively illustrate the broad spectrum of modern day alcohol use.
We
are three women working together on this documentary and we would love to hear
from you. There is absolutely no pressure, nor obligation—we would love to
explore the possibility of bringing your story, your perspective, to our
audience.
We
can be reached by email, docustories2014@gmail.com at or by phone at 212 512-1843.
Please feel free to leave a confidential message.
I really like it that they recognize that traditional solutions may not be the answer. Your participation in this program will could help someone get the help they need. They are seeking both alcoholics and loved ones of alcoholics. This is not your typical TNT "Addiction" program.
My brother has died at age 58, due to alcoholism which caused diabetes. He did not seek treatment, and I'm told that he died looking like a very old man. He became incontinent and was unable to walk.
ReplyDeleteI feel guilty, as we had lost touch the last few years, due to a rift after losing our mum in 2008. I can't describe how I feel, apart from awful; lost appetite and not sleeping. How could this happen. His wife divorced him, he got made redundant, then we lost mum, which might have contributed. He ended up on his own and not working, which probably didn't help.
I only learned in December that he was ill, and he would not allow me to visit him in hospital. He died two weeks ago in a nursing home.
Alcoholism has infiltrated my entire family unit - in varying forms and different generations, however the most baffling pattern to me is my mother - who has 'chosen' alcoholic partners several times. Her most recent marriage had all the cards on the table beforehand... and you would think after being married to an alcoholic in the past (my father), and having had relationships with two other alcoholics, something would be learned along the way. It is not a situation where the alcoholism unfolded after a healthy start to the relationship - but one where it was all as clear as a bell right from the get-go. It is quite a tangled web - and very confusing as to how to be supportive to my mother - when there is obviously as much a compulsive need by the enabler as there is the alcoholic. It's a long story - but in summary - they married 6 years ago - were even kicked out of the wedding reception hall due to him drinking out the back of his car, has consistently drank over 60 oz of whisky daily and spending huge amounts buying alcohol for his drinking buddies, has since developed esophageal cancer and the chemo combined with the alcohol caused severe psychotic episodes and verbal abuse..thus triggering rage reactions in my Mom. My mom and he split due to the verbal abuse during his psychotic fits - with much stress on all of us -with her saying she would never have expected the relationship to end like this (hello?) she's now moved out -their home sold with lawyers fighting over her life long savings. She bumped into him a few weeks ago - and is now going to take him in to take care of him... it's like she's totally forgotten all the rage/situation of before and rationalizing that he can't drink right now because he can't swallow. (she said she discovered that after offering him the little liquor bottles on her fireplace mantle) I challenged her to see she was setting herself up for the same thing all over again - and that it would trigger her rage again - it was like talking to air.
ReplyDeleteWhen I said it might be worth looking over her life to see some patterns - she defiantly said "I just might do it again". The most difficult part of it is having her scream 'you're not there for me'... which cause a reaction in me ranging from guilt of somehow not being a good daughter and being there for her to listen to all the craziness as well fix everything vs. my anger in recognizing that it was all avoidable by choosing a somewhat healthy partner to begin with. Anyway - I can go into much more detail about the drama of her alcoholics and bad relationships - but the key issues are about the 'dance between two partners', how enabling/codependency can be equally an addiction from my perspective - particularly when a situation is sought out/allowed in - without ability to see one's own role in it. But also - the inability to see how it affects the family as a whole - and not just about the alcoholic and enabler themselves.