Dear President Trump

Have I been living under a rock? Well, no actually taking care of an alcoholic at end-stage can dull your sense of awareness concerning current or past events. You know there’s news worthy events happening, but sometimes focusing or remembering what’s happening in the real world is difficult.

I remember hearing about it. I can vaguely recall the events that followed. I’m talking about the alcohol-related death of President Trump’s brother, Freddy. Should I call him Freddy? That seems so familiar for our leader’s brother. Fred (that’s better) Trump Jr. died in 1981 at the very young age of 43.

Fred’s personality was a bit opposite of his younger brother, Donald who was serious and focused on achieving his ascending goal of success in the business world. Fred was a light-hearted and fun-loving airline pilot with a bigger-than-life personality.

For President Trump, observing his brother’s descent into the chaotic world of alcoholism was a learning experience. He learned that he didn’t desire the experience of life as an alcoholic.

There were five siblings in the Trump family, Robert, Elizabeth, Fred Jr., Donald and Maryanne. It was a privileged, powerful family and I wonder how, behind closed doors, they dealt with the brother who may have been a kind of “black sheep” of the family. Was it difficult for them to attend public functions as a family with the uncertainty of Fred’s alcoholic actions always threatening to crash the party? Did they gather together outside hearing distance to plan and plot a means to control their brother’s drinking?

On the outside, this family appears strong and powerful. But, alcoholism can weaken the fabric of the strongest unit and will often prove more powerful than any group of mere mortals. Were they their own support platform or did they seek help outside the family?

In my opinion, what happens within the folds of the Trump family is none of the public’s business even if one of the family members is the most powerful person in the free world. Just because President Trump is our president doesn’t mean he is obligated to tell us of the tears he shed over being powerless to help his big brother climb out of the bottle. Still… wouldn’t we all want to know? Its human nature to want to see the difficult hurdles placed on the route to success.

I suspect that the Trump family is just like any other family who with a loved one in the clutches of alcoholism. Just like the rest of us, I’m sure they cried a river of tears, begged, pleaded and manipulated every chance they got to try to get the alcoholic in detox, rehab or any program that would help him heal. They have probably shared our frustrations and experienced the same feelings of guilt.

Alcoholism doesn’t care how much money you have, your ability to pilot yourself around the world, or if you can drop a nuclear missile on another country. Alcoholism raises its middle finger and tells you to go take a giant leap off the tallest building in your portfolio. The pain is the same.

President Trump may lead the world but just like everyone one of us who follow this blog, he probably feels the same longing for a different outcome for his alcoholic loved one.

I don’t care if you are PRO or ANTI Trump. I don’t care if you are conservative or liberal, Republican or Democrat. When you are a member of a family ravaged by alcoholism, you are a part of the same demographic as all the other families in that situation. Everything else is completely separate and possibly secondary.

Dear President Trump, please know that I understand where you’ve been because my Dollar Store Flip Flops have walked in the same path as your Allen Edmonds Oxfords.

COACHING: 

The Immortal Alcoholic’s Wife offers coaching for collaterally damaged loved ones of an alcoholic. Please e-mail LindasFrontPorch@outlook.com for more details.