Plant happiness in your garden

A friend of mine can grow literally ANYTHING. I bought an orchid thinking “How hard can it be to keep it alive? Surely I can do this.” Well, after it shriveled up, I sent it over to my friends to see if she could resurrect some life. She did just that. The next time I saw the plant it was healthy and blooming. Imagine that! Some loving time and attention was able to turn this dead-like plant into a living breathing beauty.

If only she could do the same thing with real human life. But, it isn’t her responsibility to do that for me or anyone else. It’s my responsibility to turn my life into something that makes me happy. It’s not as easy as that sounds. First there’s the figuring out what makes me happy thing.

When Riley died I floundered around for a couple of years. I had no idea what direction to go. What I thought would happen didn’t come through. After a while, I knew that I wanted to move to Florida. But, at that time, I had a job that I loved and a stable income that I could take with me when I moved. I had friends in Florida and I wanted to be close to them.

Now, it’s been almost two years since I moved and I’m back in the position of trying to do what makes me happy. I find myself without a job and I know what I would like to do as a job but, I can’t make the kind of money I need just by doing what I want to do.  What I want is to be creative and find a regularly paying job using my creative talents is far and few between.

That being the case, I have to re-evaluate what makes me happy. I have to take it to the very bare bones. What makes me happy is being self-sufficient and financially secure. So, although I want a job writing blog posts or as a seamstress, I’ll take some other kind of job. I’ll takea job that gives me a regular means to make my car payment and put food in my doggie’s dish.

Of course, there are other things that make me happy. I’m happy for what I have currently such as: several solid sister-like friendships; a loving but crazy family; and a man who supports and accepts me in spite of my out-of-the box personality. I have awesome neighbors and I live in a resort-like community.

However, I have found that “happiness” can be as cyclic as waves from the Gulf onto the beach.  I find myself struggling to keep all those “happiness” things mentioned above in my forethought when my mind gets focused on the negative. That’s when I wish my Florida Vegetable blogger would come and pour some fertilizer on my positive thoughts. Fortunately, I have that man who sorts through all the garbage and finds a blooming flower and reminds me that it exists.

Everyone has to define what “happiness” to them is and what makes your mental is flowers bloom. I believe a good start is taking a self-inventory and recognize what you do that makes you happy and what you do that you are happy that you are able to do. I’m happiest when I can pay my bills, but that’s not the true crux for what makes me happy.

What makes me happy is seeing my grandchildren smile when they video-chat with me. I’m happy when my dog lays her head in my lap and wants me to pet her head. I’m happy when I can help someone using knowledge that they may not have. I’m happy when my man smiles when he walks in my door and hugs me so tight I can barely breathe. I’m happy when I can make people laugh. I’m happy when I don’t have to “keep myself in line” and always be lady-like. I’m happy when I can design and sew something that looks great. I am very happy when I can write something that people enjoy reading.

If you’re trying to sort all this out for yourself, take your time and give yourself permission to think inwardly about your true feelings for what you do.  You could ask my gardener friend, but she can only help you grow your garden, it’s up to you to grow your mind.