Tuesday, October 19, 2010

How did I get here

After having spent 20 years in the center of the alcoholic circle, I left Riley. We lived happily apart for 15 years. Because he was retired military, there would be no divorce. I felt that I had given him good years of my life while dealing with the military and his drinking. I had earned my military benefits.
He went thru detox and near-death situations several times after he moved from my house. Because we were still legally married and still very close, I was there. I comforted my children while they were grieving from the anticipated loss of their father. I saw how they suffered each and every time.
At one point, his roommates called to tell me that I would have to come get him or they would have him declared a danger. He could no longer live with them.
My daughter wanted him to come live with her family. I said NO. I had stayed married to him in order to have my military benefits. He was my responsibility. It was time for payback. I did NOT want my daughter’s life to become the center of his alcoholic circle. I had to protect her by stepping up and doing what needed to be done.
Since he has been back in my home, he has been at death’s door at least three times. Counting the times prior to his returning to my home, we’ve been through the “he’s not gonna make it” ordeal many, many times.

And so the title of this blog is The Immortal Alcoholic.

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