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Providing non-judgmental and non-criticizing support for family and friends of end-stage alcoholics through one-on-one coaching, support groups, blog posts, workshops and public speaking.

Tuesday, October 9, 2018

A bowl of cherries...

 Since Riley’s death, I’ve had a hard time focusing on a single goal. I call it “floundering.” There are lots of things than need my attention, but I can’t seem to do one thing to completion, but rather switch back and forth, back and forth.

I wake up in the morning and say to myself… “Self, you will do something today that is positive and will set the course for more positive things. Today you will complete just ONE thing.” Self listens to me – for about half a nano-second. Then it’s a little of this and a little of that. Back and forth… back and forth.

Back in the day, when Riley went to rehab, and there were lots of those times, I would sit in the empty, quiet house and think about all the things I needed to do. I made a mental list. Followed by a written list. Followed by organizing and categorizing the list thereby creating more lists. I would hold the list in my hand, smooth it out on the desktop, fold it into fourths, turn it over, unfold it, then tell myself I would start marking things off the list first the thing the next morning.

The next morning, I would have awakened from a wonderfully peaceful nights sleep because there were no interruptions from a drunken Riley doing whatever it was he was doing in the middle of the night. At first, I would be startled from the sheer quietness, but then realize, oh yeah, Riley is in rehab. I have my coffee, a cup or three, and take out my list.

Well, I think to myself, I can do this and get it done. But before I finish getting it done, some other task catches my eye and I start on that. That’s the way it continues until the day Riley returns from rehab and I realize not ONE of the tasks on the list have been completed. But, that should be OK because Riley is a new and improved person because he’s been in rehab and vows to never drink again. Maybe he will help finish the list.

OK… well.. the first six or so times he came back from rehab, I would probably have believed that line of recovery speak. After that, he could have been telling me that the rainbow landed in our backyard and there were several pots of gold out there just waiting for me to go cash them in.

FANTASY. It would be a fantasy if I truly believed that my life with a newly recovering alcoholic would be a bowl of cherries with a dollop of whipped cream on top. The truth is he will exchange the alcohol addiction to a support group addiction. That’s the way it has to be in order for him to maintain everything he gained inside the center.

He’s not going to help me cross those items off that list I so thoughtfully made while he was learning how to live without alcohol. There may be a brief “honeymoon” period where everything is all lightness and loving and just simply wonderful. But it never lasts. I enjoyed it while I could. Made the most of it because I COULD NOT depend on it being there forever.

Things would be good. Sometimes things would be great. But eventually, they would always revert back to being terrible. And I would ALWAYS be devastated.

You see… I screwed up way back up there when I was making out the list. That list should have been things for me to do that I WANTED for MY life. It should have been things to make my life happier, more fulfilling, without Riley in my life at all. They should have been things I wanted / needed to do that didn’t include Riley. While he was in rehab he was making his own list for his life and when he got out, he was acting on that list and life. It had nothing to do with my life. That’s what I should have been doing for myself instead of making a list of chores and tasks.

So, your alcoholic is in rehab. Now What?? Don’t expect that bowl of cherries life with him. Instead make it a bowl of YOUR favorite fruit and don’t share it with anyone. It’s your bowl. It’s your life. Make it what you want.

For more on what to do now that he's in rehab see this post:

Sunday, August 12, 2018

A place called "denial"

There is a place I want to visit. It’s Denial Bay, South Australia. It’s really just a fishing and tourist village on the western side of Murat Bay about 350 miles from Adelaide. This bay and village was named from the “deceptive hope [they] had formed penetrating by it some distance into the interior of the country.” In other words it was suspected that the bay would provide an entry into the interior regions of the country, but instead was simply a bay and not an entrance. Denial Bay is now a stop for tourists who wish to enjoy a change of scenery from the salt bushes.

It doesn’t sound like such a bad place to visit. It doesn’t conjure up visions of doom that the phrase “floating up the river of Denial” seems to generate.

Let’s take a look at the word “denial”. It can be a verb deriving from the word “deny” or it can be a noun indicating a place called “Denial.” In this case, the real place of Denial Bay and the fictional river of Denial.

I think the word “denial” has gotten a bad rap. Sometimes denying certain things is a means to protect ourselves from potentially harmful situations. For example, I deny that I like any food that is spicy hot. The reality is that I DO like a bit of spice to my food, but if I say I don’t, I won’t get a dish so hot that I need a fire extinguisher to put out the flames. I protect myself from that pain by denying that I want any heat at all.

When my doctor asks me if I have trouble sleeping, I tell him absolutely not. However, as that clock turns to 3:00 A.M. and sleep is NOT on the horizon, I realize that I’m in denial about my sleeping habits. I believe I may be trying to protect myself from something by lying to my doctor. I have no clue why. I just know that I’m in denial.

When Riley was alive, I denied that stress was affecting my life. In my mind, if I said it often enough, denied it vehemently, it would not be true. The reality is that stress was destroying my physical and mental health. In my mind, I thought that it didn’t matter if I denied or not because there was nothing I could do about the situation. It was better to accept that the way my life was, is how my life would be and denial made all that easier.

I have a friend who denies that he wants a committed relationship. He claims not to want a relationship in order to protect himself from a broken heart. So he ends each potential mating before there’s a chance to find out if she is Ms. Right. Denying that there could be a Ms Right protects him from the pain of heartbreak.

Alcoholics don’t want to admit they are alcoholics so they deny that alcohol is a problem. Spouses deny that alcohol has any effect on their lives because they don’t want the outside world’s image of a perfectly loving marriage to be blemished in any way. The spouse is denying as a means of protecting the marriage.

No one wants to admit that their thought process is flawed. Accepting the thing that you’re denying is downright terrifying. It means facing the fact that a change needs to happen. Sometimes we don’t know how to change and sometimes we simply prefer our status quo. Some people live their entire life in the fictional state of denial while others make a move to reality, confront and resolve their issues.

I believe my life would have been far more enjoyable if I had not denied that Riley’s condition was causing me harm. I believe I would have accomplished more, learned more, laughed more, enjoyed more, and been more introspective of my own needs, had I just admitted that I was in need of help to relieve the stress. My denial was not the protector I thought it was.

Image result for pictures, Denial Bay, South Australia
Those of you who follow me know that I plan a lot of things. Many of them don’t happen the way I plan or in the time frame I want to do them. I deny that they will never happen. I’m planning a trip to Denial Bay, South Australia. After all, if I’m going to be in denial, I might as well enjoy seeing the sights of a sleepy fishing village that is the real Denial Bay. Anyone want to join me?

Friday, August 10, 2018

The joy of sex... or not...

Image result for being drunk and having sex, clip art

Let’s talk loving sex.

I’m going to give you a glimpse into a very personal part of my life with Riley. When we first met and our love was fresh and new, our sex life was incredibly good. Love making took place at any time or place that the desire hit us. Foreplay started in the early morning hours and lasted through the day.

I thought Riley must have been given some kind of gift from God that was my personal instructor into such parts of the life. What can I say… I was young and sexually na├»ve. He was my lover and I loved him completely.

Let’s talk sex and alcohol.

As time went on, Riley became more interested in alcohol than he was in making love to me and the very frequent basis that it had been was considerably less often. Foreplay became a means to an end and became routine. We were simply two people who engaged in satisfying sex without much expression of love.

Riley began trying to encourage me to have sex in ways that I had never considered and was not interested. I didn’t want anything to do with swapping, a common practice in certain social circles during the 1970s. Neither was I open to any form of S & M practices. Of course, back then, we didn’t have Christian Grey to lead the way.

The increased alcohol consumption seems to have awakened in Riley a longing for a more interesting sex life. I was simply Vanilla and he was craving Rocky Road. He took that craving and found other women who were more in line with his desires.

Let’s talk sex with an alcoholic.  

Kissing an alcoholic is like sharing his last drink. The taste of vodka, or the drink of the minute, lingers on his lips and leaves the recycled alcohol anywhere that the alcoholic decides to kiss.
There is a pungent order to the alcoholic that does not wash away in the shower. It’s always there on their skin, in their clothes, and on their breath. It’s difficult to get around the odor to even give a friendly kiss, let alone be close enough for coitus.

Drunks are often sloppy in love-making and revert to a “get on, get off, and get out” mentality. Kisses are slobberly messes that create saliva trails on the partner’s skin. It’s like taking a spit bath with real spit generated from the most current booze refill. Their muscles have no firmness so they cannot support themselves over the body of their partner and end up lying flat on top as though the partner isn’t even there. Once ejaculation is achieved, they simply slide off the partner into a hazy unconsciousness leaving ejaculate spread like butter over the partner’s abdomen and legs.

When the alcoholic has sex the partner is not considered because sex becomes simply a way of achieving orgasm. There is no consideration for the partner’s satisfaction. The encounter may turn into a mindless “f . . k fest”.

For me, as a woman who has been married and intimate with a full-fledged alcoholic, I would rather engage my electronic toys and summon an imaginary lover from the creative part of my brain, than to deal with a drunken male counterpart.

From a clinical point of view:

Alcohol numbs the frontal lobe of the brain which is the home of things like common sense, logic, rational thought and values. When this part of the brain is saturated with alcohol all the things that reside there go to sleep and what would normally be forbidden now becomes acceptable. Inhibitions are lessened and rational thought no longer available to prevent making bad decisions.

The absence of the things that prevent a person from being foolish allows the drunk to take risks that would commonly not be taken. Sexual acts not previously acceptable, become desirable during the course of the drunkenness. In that moment, it isn’t really experimentation because it FEELS like a good thing to do. In a sober state of mind, those things would not take place but with the entrance of an over-indulgence of alcohol, anything goes.

You may be thinking… “Wow. That’s great. I’m going to get drunk so I’ll be more open to sexual encounters.” But, it’s not all good when you think of the physiological aspects of excessive alcohol consumption.

For men who imbibe, testosterone production is decreased and can even be inhibited all together. The reduction of testosterone results in adverse effects on libido and physical arousal. Ejaculation is not as intense or physically satisfying. Emotionally, since the frontal lobe is essentially turned off, there is very little connection between the act of sex and any emotional feeling. Sex becomes more mechanical rather than personal.

So when a sober man says, after a night of drunken sex with someone other than the significant other, “It didn’t mean anything.” Sadly, he is telling the truth.

In short, you can’t get it in if you can’t get it up. Once it’s up it doesn’t matter who or what it’s in. You could have sex with a warm blooded human or a blow up doll, it makes no difference.

For women, with inhibitions gone, sex may become more exciting and even more enjoyable. Alcohol has a tendency to INCREASE the levels of testosterone which may result in more interest in sex. However, there is a decrease in the intensity of the orgasm while increasing the amount of time that the orgasm will continue.

There are other concerns for both men and women. The lack of concern for birth control may result in a pregnancy with a person who is essentially a stranger. With common sense gone, intercourse without condoms may result in sexually transmitted diseases. If the two people are strangers, there is always the old “OMG! I hooked up with an axe murderer!” possibility.

Don’t misunderstand. I’m all for sex. I’m especially in favor of sex with a partner who knows my name and remembers who I am during the act. There are times when I simply want sex and then there are times when I want love-making. It doesn’t matter what the situation is, I always want my partner to have his frontal lobe in full working order before we get to the bedroom.

Wednesday, August 8, 2018

Two ways out...

Alcoholism is disease that not only destroys the individual but also destroys anyone within peripheral range of the alcoholic. Family and friends desperately try to help the alcoholic understand that life would be so much better if he/she would simply stop drinking.

There are really only two ways out of alcoholism – death or sobriety. Many alcoholics would prefer to drink themselves to death rather than live a sober lifestyle. It is part of the insanity of the disease. The alcoholic toxins that find a home in the frontal lobe of the brain make it nearly impossible for them to make rational or logical decisions.

The only chance for an alcoholic’s survival begins with detoxification of the poisons in the brain and body. Testing to determine the extent of the damage to both brain and body can only be determined when the as much of the toxins as possible have been removed from the alcoholic’s body. Once the alcoholic’s ability to think rationally has returned treatment in a rehab facility becomes more acceptable.

Successful recovery from alcoholism is more likely when the alcoholic attends a long-term residential treatment center. This should include weeks of both group and individual therapy and an introduction to various recovery programs such as, AA or recovery coaching

An important aspect of alcoholism treatment is getting help for the family and friends. It doesn’t matter how good the treatment facility is for the alcoholic, if he/she returns to the same toxic environment, the chance for relapse increases greatly. Rehab centers often offer a program for the family while the alcoholic is a patient. There are also family support groups, such as Al-Anon, that meet regularly. There are also on-line support group, such as OARS Family and Friends Group on FaceBook which allows the opportunity to connect with someone in similar situations on a 24/7 basis.

I offer one-on-one coaching for families & loved ones of alcoholics via video chat or telephone. The charge for a one-hour session is $30 with flexibility as to the one-hour time limit. I am not a licensed therapist, doctor, lawyer or anything else. I offer support, encouragement, suggestions and the opportunity to vent without judgement or criticism.

Thursday, August 2, 2018

Let me be clear

I was trying to explain that leaving an alcoholic husband or partner doesn’t mean you don’t love the person you’re leaving. It’s possible and sometimes more practical to love someone from a distance. There comes a time when the non-alcoholic must consider their own survival and express unconditional love for oneself.

There are many practical reasons why non-alcoholic’s stay with the alcoholic. There may be economic considerations or simply the fact that the alcoholic has reached a point of no return on being able to take care of his or her own needs. Maybe the vows you took in becoming a wedded couple are the tie that binds you. Maybe you’re hoping there will be a change.

It doesn’t matter why you stay. It doesn’t matter what your reasons are for going. What matters is that you put yourself as top priority in your life.

I have loved a man unconditionally and have promised to never abandon him. But there comes a point in time when that knowledge may lead the loved one to taking unconditional love for granted. Limits may get pushed. Arguments may take place and hurtful words exchanged. And that’s WITHOUT the influence of alcohol.

When alcohol is involved everything is multiplied by at least three. The hurts are deeper; the indiscretions are less discreet; the consequences are more consequential. The one loving unconditionally must ask the hard question about how much unconditional love can be tolerated before reaching the breaking point. At what point is there nothing left to give?

This is the question that only the unconditional lover can answer. Everyone’s breaking point is different and everyone handles different situations in their own unique way.

For me – I get tired of doing all the forgiving and receiving no forgiveness in return. I have a high tolerance level. But don’t take that to mean that I won’t walk away. Sometimes I don’t walk – I run.

Tuesday, July 31, 2018

Intervention -- When, How, and How Much?

Thank you to Sandy Jones founder of Synergy Breakthroughs for today's guest blog post. Sandy created Synergy Breakthroughs in 2010 to"assist individual, groups and organizations in developing the kind of creativity and resilience that would optimize the experience of navigating through change." http://synergybreakthroughs.com/background/

By Sandy Jones

As the loved ones of someone who is an alcoholic (or drug user, or polydrug user), our situations may vary widely; but one thing we all share is the heartache of seeing someone decline – sometimes over a very long period of time – due to the effects of a substance. Sometimes, that trajectory is reversed; other times, it isn’t.

In 2009, I was stunned when my nephew, Ray, died of alcoholism. How could we (the family) have let this happen? Of course, not knowing anything, I was posing a question that flew in the face of what was supposed to be common knowledge – that this was not something that we let happen, it was something that they let happen. As for what we were supposed to do, we were supposed to “Wait ‘til they ask for help” or “Wait ‘til they hit rock bottom.”

In any case, my nephew’s death set me on a quest for answers, and along the way, I discovered that common knowledge was wrong – we were not supposed to “Wait ‘til they ask for help” or “Wait ‘til they hit rock bottom.” And even more jarring was that the experts were saying this way before Ray died. Years before Ray died, in an earlier version of the book, Love First, former presidential candidate and Senator George McGovern recounted in the book’s Forward that they listened to well-meaning friends who said to wait ‘til his daughter hit rock bottom; but the problem was that when they did this, she died. And I also learned that in a survey that Hazelden conducted, where they asked alcoholics what had set them on a course to recovery, 77% said that a friend or relative had intervened.

But back to the question of when, how, and how much we should intervene. There are actually observational signposts, clinical evaluations, and even what I call the one-question litmus test (which actually has a pretty high rate of accuracy) that can help us to answer the “when” – when to know when it’s time for our loved one to get help. (Professionals sometimes use these types of evaluations, and in the end, we would of course want to consult a professional.)

As for the “how,” things have come a long way since the traditional treatment that we all know about – the living room intervention with the loved ones, and then it’s off to the residential treatment center. Don’t get me wrong – this is still a very common treatment, and it still saves lives. But I learned that there are so many other things out there. You can look at what’s out there, you can look at where your alcoholic is; and you can try to make the best match. In some cases, you can even involve your alcoholic. And the way you communicate is very important. Years of research have been put into this, and one of the best books I’ve seen, which has an approach with a very good success rate of getting your loved one into treatment, is the book, Get Your Loved One Sober, by Robert J. Meyers.

As for “how much,” that’s a tough one. In my book, I talk about enabling, not enabling, and abandoning, but that’s in relation to codependency and does not really address “how much.” When I think about it, it’s such a universal life question: When do we keep trying? When do we give up? When is it better to keep trying or to give up? In life, as in addiction, we can’t read the future, so we can’t know until later. But I love what Dr. Meyers says – he basically says that if you do your best and things don’t turn out the way you expected, you can rest in the awareness that you did the best you could. And it’s good to keep in mind that you did what was within the scope of your knowledge or understanding at the time to do.  {What else can we do?)

And speaking of knowledge, knowledge is definitely power, but many of us don’t have the time – we’re too busy just trying to survive! And addiction is a tough nut to crack – now, more than ever, given the added challenges of prescription drug abuse, designer drugs, and polydrug use! But together, we can accomplish so much more than we can, alone. This is why we need to start forming solution-oriented groups, where we would not just learn together, but also exchange our ideas and experiences with each other, support each other, and each create a strategy – an action plan that will support us in doing the best we can to get to the light at the end of the tunnel. As the saying goes, “We may not have it all together; but together, we have it all!”

Sandy Jones is the author of Intervene: An Emergency Guide to Heavy Drinking, Alcoholism, and Drug Addiction. Her book can be purchased on Amazon at (short link to Amazon): http://www.tinyurl.com/InterveneBook or by entering “Intervene an emergency guide” at Amazon.com. She is offering a complimentary ebook of Intervene to the first five readers who agree to write an honest review of the book on Amazon within 4 weeks of receiving it. (To participate, submit your email to SynergyBreakthroughs@gmail.com or support@synergybreakthroughs.com.

Saturday, July 21, 2018

First do no harm...

I have a follower who is the divorced wife of a very end-stage alcoholic. He is currently in the hospital. He had never signed a Medical Power of Attorney, so no one is legally in charge of his care. Yes, the closet living relative will be asked to take on the responsibility which would be his children. However, the children have become estranged over the years because they did not want to suffer the heart break of watching their father slowly kill himself. There are no other relatives.

As often happens in alcoholic marriages, the couple divorced because of the outfall of the alcoholic’s actions. The wife/husband will often separate themselves, so they do not have the unfortunate financial burden if the alcoholic should get himself into financial trouble. It doesn’t mean they no longer have feelings one for another. It’s often a greater act of love.

If the divorced couple do not have in place the legal paperwork that allows the sober partner to “watch over” the drunk partner, the drunk partner could fall to the mercy of the medical community. While their first obligation is to do no harm, the prime objective is to continue life for as long as the patient can draw a breath. The medical community is not as concerned about the quality of life as they are about the quantity of life.

The name of this blog, “Immortal Alcoholic”, is from the idea that an alcoholic can be so close to death and miraculously return to the living many times over and again. Unfortunately, they do not learn to stop drinking because they just had a near-death experience. Most often the alcoholic will not remember any of the trauma that brought him to, and during, the event. There is no lesson learned for the alcoholic. He will most likely NOT wake up and say “Hey, I think I should stop drinking, go to rehab, and live a full productive life.” What will probably happen is that he will want to stop at a liquor store on the way home from the hospital.

The families remember. They remember every detail, every harsh word, every derogatory name, every jump-start of the heart, every coma-like minute of the hospital stay. They are exhausted. They are a mixture of elation and disappointment. They live a life of contradiction. While happy the loved one is alive, they are disappointed that there is no end in sight. And they are angry. Through the laughter and smiles, they try to hide their anger. They know that what they have just been through over the last days or weeks, is a process that will be repeated. It’s just a matter of time.

A Medical Power of Attorney, which gives the right to make decisions for the alcoholic when they cannot make the decision on their own, over to a trusted individual. Usually it is given to the spouse but can be assigned to anyone of the alcoholic’s choosing. There should be a clear understanding of what the alcoholic would want in terms of continuing his life. The choices should be made during a time when the alcoholic is the most sober.

Riley vacillated between having a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate Order) and not having a DNR. However, he was always adamant about not wanting to be kept alive on any type of equipment. If he could not breathe on his own, he was not to be kept alive. If it appeared he would not have a quality of life that allowed him to live independently, he did not want to continue living. The biggest issue for him was that if he couldn’t continue drinking, he would rather not continue living. He would rather be dead than sober. If there was any doubt as to what his quality of life would be, he wanted to not take the chance that he would end up as a vegetable. He wanted me to “pull the plug.”

The family knows that there is more to living than just the activity of the heart and lungs. If the cycle is going to continue, which is usually does, then who does it serve to keep the alcoholic alive? The alcoholic may get a few more months of hazy, fuzzy, bliss. The family gets a few more months of worry and frustration. The hospitals and doctors get richer with each hospitalization while the insurance companies get poorer.

If you are an alcoholic – do your family a favor and get the Medical Power of Attorney and leave no doubt as to what you want. If you’re a family member, encourage or insist, that the alcoholic in your life get that simple document that allows you to make the decision to do what is right for the alcoholic. It’s a piece of paper that will insure the alcoholic gets the best and most appropriate care possible.

After all, who knows the alcoholic better than the people who are the closest to him/her? No one’s life should be left in the complete power of strangers.

Find more helpful information and support in my books. Medical information about alcohol related diseases and complications in a language the average person can understand can be found in both "Immortal Alcoholic's Wife" and "Workbook for Caretakers of End-Stage Alcoholics". Find support for yourself and regain your life in "Surviving the Chaos". To lighten your mood, try reading "Huh? The ABC's of Understanding Women" and/or "That Reminds Me." There is something for everyone. Just go to https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=Linda+Bartee+Doyne

Saturday, May 12, 2018

Where, What, When, Why, How???

I got a message asking me where I was, what was I doing, and, when am I coming back. I also received a comment about how I was adjusting to single life and had I started my book tour yet.

No, I have not started the book tour. I discovered that I have a surgery that I must recover from before I start any extensive travel. I could postpone the surgery, but I’d like to leave for the tour without anything hanging over my head. Book tour is STILL on, but probably not until closer to the first part of the year. My route will depend on the weather, but everyone who has asked me to come, will see my bright shining face.

Sadly, I’m moving from my big old country farm house into my daughter’s house. The farm house is up for sale and it’s easier if I just move out now. Anyone interested in a house on eight acres of land built in 1858, send me an e-mail and I’ll put you in touch with the realtor. I do not own this house, however, my 8th & 9th grandfathers once owned a part of the land. Interesting, since I didn’t know any of my family was from this area.

What I am doing… I’m packing, purging, downsizing and preparing for the move. I was surprised at how difficult it is to go thru all of Riley’s things and decide what to keep, give away, and just get rid of. I feel that I’m invading his privacy and erasing all evidence of his previous existence. I have stacks of books on AA with duplicate copies. What I can’t find a home for, will be donated to the local library.

When am I coming back? I never really left.  I was working diligently on the upcoming presentation in Williamsburg, VA. However, with the move and surgery looming over me, I postponed the presentation for a couple of months. I’m writing the sequel to Immortal Alcoholic’s Wife and working on another non-alcohol related fun book similar to the ABC’s of Understanding Women.

Oh my goodness, what can I tell you about my single life?? I’m still in a relationship with Sam. I have visited him after not seeing him in 13 years. Our visit was as though no time had passed between us. I am happy. Sam supports what I do and respects the memories I carry (good and bad) about Riley. He has known me for more than 20 years and the best way to describe our relationship is that we are the closest of friends. It works for us.

More about single life: When Riley died I posted on Facebook that my status was “widowed”. That was a big mistake. I am inundated with friend requests from men who were almost always “catfishers”. There have been so many that I will not accept requests from men any longer unless they are a friend of one of my friends. If you have tried to send me a request and you are male, please e-mail me and tell me you are going to send the request. Under those conditions, I will accept it when I see it come through. I gladly accept friend requests from my followers for both the "Immortal Alcoholic" page and my personal page.

It took me a while to get used to this feeling of not being responsible for someone else. But, I can honestly say, that I’m enjoying the fact that I just don’t seem to be worried about very much. Whatever is going to happen is going to happen and the direction of whatever is happening is not something I can or want to control. Most days I wake up welcoming a fresh new day. Other days… well… not so much… But the “other days” happen less often now that Riley is gone. My biggest issue is making decisions about what I want to do and when I want to do it. Being able to do ANYTHING I want (within financial reason) can sometimes be a bit overwhelming. If I just sit quietly the answers will come as they always do.

I hope I’ve answered your questions. Please keep reading my blog, books (they are available on https://www.amazon.com/Books-Linda-Bartee-Doyne/s?ie=UTF8&page=1&rh=n%3A283155%2Cp_27%3ALinda%20Bartee%20Doyne ), and going to my Facebook pages. I’m also on Twitter (https://twitter.com/ImrtlAlkysWife), and LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/in/linda-doyne-21504763/ ).  

I make no promises as to when the next post will be, but I can tell you the subject matter will most likely be more alcoholism related.

That’s all there is… remember to follow Auntie Mame’s advise to “Live, Live, Live…”

Monday, April 2, 2018

A bit about Cirrhosis

Now available for public speaking on surviving the chaos of alcoholism as a spouse or family member. Also explanations of the diseases of alcoholism from an ordinary person's point of view. E-mail at LindaWrites@live.com or ImmortalAlcoholic@gmail.com.