Monday, October 25, 2010
Riley Life vs Linda Life
Riley’s life is sad. It has been centered in a bottle rather than what’s in his life. He doesn’t really know his children, his grandchildren or his great-grandchildren. He can no longer make decisions for himself. He is forced to live with a woman that he emotionally abused for years. Out of hundreds of women he would never choose to spend the rest of his life with me. Now that’s irony. That’s worth smiling about. (Refer to rule #7)
My life is full and happy. When I look at my grandchildren I’m down right joyous. It’s impossible to feel sadness when those little arms are reaching up to you for a hug. The richest part of my life is my family because without them I am poverty stricken. My greatest fear is to lose one of them – any of them.
I’m a mother. And that’s not a hyphenated word. I’m so much a mother that youngsters that share no DNA with me call me Momma Linda. According to my nephew, the title Aunt is synonymous with Mom. That’s pretty darn special.
True to my title – I’m fierce at protecting all those who call me Mom.
I think I must add here… two years ago my son died from an alcohol related illness. It was a sudden and shocking event. I have not yet recovered from the loss. If there is anything sad about my life – it is the loss of my son. Nothing can top that sadness. I could not protect him because I had limited knowledge of the situation. That has been the one big failure in my life. I cannot allow history to repeat itself.
The life I have now with Riley is one I have chosen to protect my children. I’m not doing anything unique. I’m just like any other Mom who wants the best for her children. My daughter and I have lived this life in the presence of drunkenness for so long that it is something that we know how to do and we still maintain our sanity. I haven’t checked the sanity meter lately, but I think it’s still registering us as sane… well maybe borderline…
The sheer absurdity of it all is funny. How can anyone think it isn’t funny watching a man try to put on a jacket when he doesn’t realize it is upside down. It is funny when he puts the produce in the trash and the trash in the produce keeper. It is funny when he looks in the oven and can’t find the milk. It is funny when he asks if he should consider buying life insurance.
For me, Riley is just something I work my life around. But under no circumstances would I consider my life to be sad. His life is sad, but mine, although it may be frustrating, irritating, and confusing, it is also uniquely interesting and filled with joyful wonder. As in the song.. I am a willow I can bend…
at 7:33 AM