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Providing non-judgmental and non-criticizing support for family and friends of end-stage alcoholics through one-on-one coaching, support groups, blog posts, workshops and public speaking.

Monday, December 18, 2017

Banquet of life...

Live, Live, Live…

When you are growing up you think of your life as being “normal.” But when you get older, you realize that the standards and attitudes of those around you have shaped how you see the world and how you live your life. My mother was a firm believer of living each day as though it were your last. Of course, she meant that I shouldn’t wear dirty socks because I might not have a chance to change them if today were my last day. The words I still have in my head go something like… “Don’t waste time, these are minutes you will never be able to live over again.” I don’t think I really appreciated that sentiment until recently.

There are people in this world, people who read my blog, who wouldn’t do well in my mother’s world. They believe that they are living each day if they can simply get through the day without conflict. I see that as putting one foot in front of the other without looking at the path. I guess that’s what I’ve been doing over the past few years. I’ve just been getting through.

Basically, I’m not a “getting though” kinda person. It’s not enough for me to drive by the ocean, I have to have my feet in the water and sand in my toes. I don’t want to just see the color of the fall leaves in Vermont. I want to create syrup from the sap. It’s the world from my perspective.

In March I’m packing up my house, putting it all in storage, and taking my dog and my show on the road. I’ll be stopping at every wide spot in the raod and visiting the largest ball of twine. In reality it will be termed as a “book tour” so I can write it off on my taxes. I’ll be promoting my books, and possibly holding “mini-seminars”, in any city, town, and/or cross-road where I may be summoned by YOU, my readers.

So far, I’m going to Florida, Ohio, Tennessee, Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, Minnesota, Missouri, Texas, Arizona, California, Oregon and Washington. If your state isn’t listed, send me an e-mail and tell me where you are… I’ll come to you.

I will have with me copies of my new book (yet un-named) which will be the story of Riley’s life and journey through alcoholism. ALSO, my new romance novel may be out by that time as well. The only place you will be able to get those books is through ME, while I’m on tour. They will not be available on Amazon until my trip is completed.

While this is a book tour, technically, my purpose of travelling is to start really living again. I’ve been chained to Riley for so long that my new freedom calls me to be mobile. Now’s my chance to see all those things I’ve never seen in this amazing country. Oh… I’ve driven across country many times, but always to get from point A to point B. This time I’ll have more points than there are letters in the alphabet. I want to dance in the rain in an open meadow. I want to see what Niagara Falls looks like from the back of the fall. I want to take pictures from the top of Hatteras Lighthouse. I want to ride in a horse-drawn carriage in Savannah. I want to eat lobster fresh from the docks in Maine. I want to spend the night in a teepee. In short – I want to live, live, live.

There is a scene in the movie “Auntie Mame” where Lucille Ball (as Mame) “Life is a banquet and most sons-a-bitches are starving to death.” Although I prefer Rosalind Russell in the starring role, I like Lucille’s version of that particular line much better.

I don’t want to starve anymore. I want to get out there and live my life. Funny thing though, I didn’t know I was starving until my friend, Sam mentioned that he might want to buy a motor home and travel around the country. Sam lives a quiet life and I think his idea of travelling would be following some pre-destined route on a set schedule without any deviation. I like to have a general idea of my direction and then make up the schedule as I go. I want plenty of time to eat the largest pancake on this side of the Mississippi or to take a tour through Bellingraph Gardens.

I would love to take Sam on MY trip with me and show him what it’s like to be an adventurer. I don’t need a motor home or a fancy RV. I just need a list of places to go and see, my dog and my car. I’m simple like that.

My intention is to feast on the banquet of life as long there’s life to feast upon. 


Anonymous said...

Our 44 year old alcoholic son died yesterday. Your blog was a big help in getting me through many very difficult times. I knew that all the energy that my husband and I put into 'helping' him was not going to change things but I knew that a some point I would look back and say 'I did my best'. There is no easy answer to this problem.

Thanks again for giving a realistic portrait of what a caregiver can expect and goes through.

ADDY said...

Wow. That's a brave schedule you have planned. I've only ever wanted to stick with the familiar and crawl into my shell. You are definitely very brave.

Anonymous said...

Enjoy your life. See the country. Each day be happy that you are free to explore who you are.
Be glad, be very glad that you have some time left. My alcoholic husband died 4 years ago. I am still having trouble moving forward. Mostly want to be by myself with my dogs in nature, warm climate seeking peace. Merry Christmas and all the best.

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Anonymous said...

What about the cat?