Is he dead?

There was a comment on the Definition of End-Stage post asking me if Riley were dead yet. It reminded me of a friend who used to call about once a week and ask, “Is he dead?” After answering her with a resounding NO! we could continue to discuss how Riley was doing.

Dealing with Stress after Rehab

This article was written for alcoholics who have completed rehab and finding it difficult to deal with stress. When I read the article, I thought it would be good for anyone dealing with stress. 

By Mitch Webb

Stress is a normal part of our everyday lives. From work deadlines to noisy children to flooding in the front yard, there are many occurrences that can easily take us from calm to wanting to pull our hair out. However, drugs and alcohol change the

Financial pit of despair...

During the days when Riley was drinking and we were together, often times more money would be spent on booze than the total amount of our utility bills. I tried everything I knew to make sure I got the paycheck before he had a chance to cash it. Because once it was cashed, it was basically gone. (That was before the days of direct deposit.) When he ran out of cash, he would write a check. I ended up closing the bank accounts to prevent paying return check fees.

Riley earned enough money to support our family. But, I worked two, sometimes three, jobs in order to keep food on the table. I don’t think he even knew how much money he was spending. He didn’t have to

Finding a doctor

One of the OARS group members expressed some difficulty she was having in trying to find a doctor to treat her alcoholic husband. She surmised that he is in end-stage, but has nothing to go on except what she has read in this blog and her own instincts. In a rare moment of sanity, her husband told her he wanted to go to the doctor if she could find one that would see him. Of course, he did not want one who would insist upon detox or rehab.

Mrs. X began her search and quickly realized that her task was harder than she had thought it would be. After several days of phone calls, she was about

Relapse Prevention & Post Treatment Survival

Below is a guest post from a recovering addict, Justin. The content is written with the help of other recovering addicts and treatment professionals that help him on his road to recovery. Article courtesy of A New Start Treatment and Recovery, Drug Rehab Center in Los Angeles

Relapse Prevention and Post-Treatment Survival

            The term ‘Relapse Prevention’ is an often discussed and occasionally misunderstood phrase. The easiest way to understand it is simply break it down

For your resource list

I’ve been doing a great deal of work on my family’s history from the time they came to America to the present. When I discover something especially interesting, I write a long, descriptive version of the story. Since I have to fill in the blanks of things I don’t really know or can’t confirm, I can’t say it is a true biography. Let’s just say the book will be based on a true story. That sounds good.

I also write a shorten version which will take its rightful place in my book of short stories (titled That Reminds Me) which I hope to publish before July. That Reminds Me will contain family stories, stories submitted by family and friends, little quotes and other fun stuff. It’s purely entertainment. As with all my books, the proceeds are used to fund the support groups, OARS, and other related projects

.

I’ve been asked by my friends producing the documentary to compile information for a resource directory that will be available at the film’s website. A select few will be featured in the film.  I have no problem finding rehab centers that fit our criteria. However, I only have a few support groups: Al-Anon, Smart Recovery; OARS; and individual counselors. If anyone has a support group, other than the ones mentioned, please e-mail me the info to ImmortalAlcoholic@gmail.com. Please put the word RESOURCE in the subject line.

On the subject of resources, I want to encourage my readers to develop your own

A state of mind...

I've been spending a lot of time with my cousins lately. Over the past 20 years we haven’t had much contact. They are older than me and I think it was only natural that we distanced ourselves unintentionally. We became the relatives that we saw at weddings and funerals. Of course, we always said we’d stay in touch, but that seldom happened.

This reconnection began when one cousin called and said they would like to visit for a few days. I was so excited I coulda pee’d me pants. We had a wonderful visit and while he was here, he put me in touch with his sister. AWESOME!

Left to right: My older brother, My cousin who is holding Me; and her younger brother.

In one of our conversations the sister asked me “Are you happy?” She wondered

What's yours not mine!

Anger is a healthy emotion. I had someone in my home that became quite angry at something over which she had no control. No matter how she tried to resolve the issue, the anger continued to be fed by the antagonist. She was at the point where she was wiping down the counter tops over and over again. I was beginning to think she would scrub all the decorative flecks from the granite.

Eventually, the issue was resolved to her satisfaction, but all that anger energy was still right there on the tip of her brain. I suggested she go take a long bath as a means to calm down. Instead she said “It would be a shame

A million requests...

I started this blog on September 9, 2010 with an entry about how I got to where I was at that time. How I Got Here  I remember that once the site was up and running and posting several times, I tried to make some changes to the format and lost all my posts. I re-did the layout and re-posted the posts on October 19, 2010.

Since then I’ve published 317 posts over 4 ½ years. I’m very proud to say that I am celebrating my one millionth hit (view). I never in a million years imagined I would ever have my blog viewed a million times. In honor of the occasion, this post will be a review of the journey that the blog (and both Riley and I) have taken.

September 2010 – Riley was drinking but still moderately functional. I started the blog as a means of communication for my family and a way to put into writing all the research information I had gathered. I thought that possibly the information I gathered could help other people. Some posts were my own point of view, others contained factual information and some were about my life with Riley in the past and also in the present.

It's OK...

Everyone lives by their own set of criteria. That means that the decisions we make are ones that make sense only to us as individuals. Of course other people understand, accept, question and comment, but in the end we own our own decisions. When it comes to deciding to leave or stay, most people who are not involved with an alcoholic will question a person’s choice no matter what the decision is.

If the decision is that you are going to leave, but really want to stay, the real question is how to do it. Is there a way