Hot Off the Presses!! Get your Workbook now!!

I’ve been a very busy girl over the past month. I’ve been working on updating the Workbook for Caretakers of End-Stage Alcoholics. It’s now available in a paperback version on Amazon.com. You can get it here:

https://www.amazon.com/Workbook-Caretakers-End-Stage-Alcoholics-communication/dp/1536908614/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1470835244&sr=8-1&keywords=Workbook+for+Caretakers

You can still get the computer version here on the blog, but it will not be available anywhere else – at least for now.

The paperback version has been updated and packed with new information. It is a must have for anyone dealing with an alcoholic. It’s all the information you wished you didn’t need to know.

I use my workbook almost everyday. I keep one for Riley and I can see how he has deteriorated over the past couple of years. When the doctor comes to visit (Yes, our doctor makes house calls – The Visiting Physician’s Association.), he can clearly see how things have changed from one visit to the next.

I also have a workbook for myself. I have altered it in different ways to fit my own health issues. I’m not an alcoholic but I am diabetic. I track all the vital information and my blood sugar levels. My doctor loves it when I give him my charts from the Workbook and sees my improvement.

I will be developing a workbook for non-alcoholics in the very near future.

About two years ago, I asked for, and received, stories from my readers of their own journey through loving an alcoholic. I still have most of them and will be using them to write my next book. You can still contribute if you want by e-mailing me your story to LindasFrontPorch@outlook.com with “story” in the subject line. Identities will be changed to provide anonymity for the contributors. I will also accept stories based on drug addiction.

There is a new book on the market by Wren Waters, titled The Alcoholic Husband Primer: Survival Tips for Wives of Alcoholics. I enjoyed reading this book. It was clear and offered a point of view unique to wives of alcoholics. I highly recommend reading this book. You can get it at:

https://www.amazon.com/Alcoholic-Husband-Primer-Survival-Alcoholics/dp/1533363471/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1470842054&sr=1-1&keywords=Wren+Waters

Another recent book is This Naked Mind by Annie Grace. While I prefer not to get into the business of recommending book dealing primarily with alcoholics rather than families of alcoholics, I thought this one was worth mentioning. This Naked Mind offers a new solution. Annie Grace will open your eyes to the startling role of alcohol in our culture. She psychological, neurological, cultural, social and industry factors creating a must read for anyone who drinks.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0996715002/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0996715002&linkCode=as2&tag=thinakmin-20&linkId=HQBTE4EF5JAY2FYD

I’ll be posting another book review next month. If you have any you’d like to recommend or reviews you’d like published, please e-mail me at LindasFrontPorch@outlook.com with the word “review” in the subject line. 

Hallucinations, agitation and drugs that help

Riley was in the Navy submarine service for more than 25 years. He served aboard the USS Shark which was a sister ship of the USS Scorpion. The Scorpion went down near the Azores and was never recovered. The cause of the event was never exactly determined. But, the crew members of the Shark felt an uncanny connection to those who served and lost their life aboard the Scorpion.

About a year ago, Riley was having severe panic attacks and hallucinations about incidents that happened to him aboard submarines. He was clearly terrified of “going down with the ship.” These dreams, hallucinations, images, whatever, would last for days. There was no sleep because he was screaming out for help. He didn’t know who I was and didn’t understand how I got there.

We tried drugs of all sorts, but nothing was making a dent in giving us some relief. Finally, our nurse practioner found us the answer. She spent hours doing research and had many conversations with our pharmacist. Then she sat down with and explained why nothing had worked so far.

The drugs we had been administering to Riley all had the same chemical components as alcohol.

Please Drink Responsibly

When Patrick Branson contacted me about helping with his upcoming documentary and told me the name "Please Drink Responsibly" I was reminded of the time when Riley argued with me that it was OK for him to drive drunk because he had been doing it for years and nothing bad ever happened. He was insistent that it was not right for anyone else to drive drunk, but it was OK for him because he had experience.  

Please Drink Responsibly is a documentary film produced by Patrick Branson. There is no corporate funding for this film. It exists from donations given by people like me and you. They are at the end of production but do not have enough funds to get it finished. They are so close yet so far.

To donate to this film and get it out there to the public, please contact Patrick Branson by leaving a message or comment on his Facebook page at:

 https://www.facebook.com/JohnnyTragedy/about?section=contact-info&pnref=about

As family and friends of alcoholics and alcoholics, we all know how important it is for films like this to be aired. Please join with me in making it happen.

The state of sobriety

There was a full moon on Wednesday night. I admired how bright and shiny it was with its ability to light up my entire yard. Intellectually I know that the moon only appears white because it is reflecting the light here on earth. Still, I revel in its beauty and can almost feel the magical power emanating from the shine.

I could use some magical power these days. Riley has not been feeling well. Besides not feeling well, he is having a difficult time communicating with the nurse about his pain. Often times he simply says that he just feels yucky in general then will yell out in pain a few minutes later. Ask him where it hurts – his answer is on his entire right side. If I had magic powers I would just wave my wand and be able to see his pain.

Often I will say something to a person about Riley no longer drinking. Everyone oooos and ahhhhs about how his sobriety is wonderful. I’m told that I should at least be grateful for the lack of alcohol. I know they mean well. I smile and nod.

Back in the day, if Riley had quit drinking and was still able to maintain a quality life, I would be

Longing for the good old days

I watched Riley check out what was on his dinner plate. I said each item aloud. But there was not a glimmer of recognition of what this plate represented. Back in the day – before there was a baby and before Miss Vodka encroached upon our lives – we were just a struggling couple trying to make ends meet. When Riley landed a new job with a great salary, I wanted to celebrate by fixing him a special dinner. I only had a couple of dollars in my pocket so I got creative.

A while back, our neighbor had given us a can of pink salmon because she had no idea what it was or how to prepare it. I gladly took the can and knew exactly what it would become. I check the panty and found some saltines, green onions and the usual seasonings. I had everything I needed to create Salmon Patties.

Crazy vs UTI

Yes, they are crazy when they are filled to the brim with toxic liquid. But, if you notice your alcoholic person to be a bit more crazy than usual, there may be an additional cause. Urinary Tract Infections (UTI’s) can also be the cause of crazy.

Most UTIs are caused from a bacterial infection called Escherichia coli (E.coli) which makes it’s home in the bowels. They are more common in women than in men. Symptoms include frequent and intense urgency to urinate with a painful, burning feeling. The condition is resolved with a course of antibiotics.

Well – that sounds simple enough. And it is simple for the normal healthy person. But when dealing with a person with a compromised immune system and already in a weakened physical state, it’s a bit more complicated.

I promise you can trust me

I grew up in a family where trust was not an issue. I trusted almost everyone in my family to a point where I could be classified as gullible. It just never dawned on me that people close to me would lie to me or hurt me in any way. I came from a loving, trusting home and I saw no reason not to extend that trust to the outside world.

Of course, all that trust meant I was an easy target in the school yard. Promises were often broken and as well as my heart. But, hey, it was the school yard and childhood isn’t often as carefree and wonderful as it would seem. Kids are cruel. They don’t really mean to be, it’s just that all the filters have not developed yet and there is no self-control.

The neighbors are talking...

First off, to those of you who wrote and sent condolences to Carrot – It was NOT her son who died. However, she appreciates all your encouraging thoughts and prayers.

“What you think of me is none of my business.” As the wife of an alcoholic, I can tell you that I never had time to think much about what the neighbors were thinking. I felt that people who spent time gossiping about me or my family had way too much time on their hands.

When my son, Brian, died an alcohol-related death, it took me years to be able to say out loud that he was an alcoholic. I also could not vocalize his name. I would say it over and over in my head, but I didn’t want to hear his name come out of my mouth. When my grandson was born and was named after his uncle, I could only say “Baby Brian” but never just “Brian”. My grandson is six years old and he still lives with “Baby Brian.”

One last thing...

On June 9^th, 2014, I posted a video about what to do if you have a child who is an alcoholic. My point was that parents must do everything they can and then do just one more thing. You can find the video here: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D7SxUgj5YnU

Yesterday, my heart sister (a woman so close to me that in my heart she is truly my sister), did one more thing for her son. It was one of the most unpleasant things she has ever done.

Early in 1991, a boy baby was born to this couple who had tried desperately to begin a family. I was there when she was told she was actually pregnant. I was one of the second to know (the first being the expectant father) that the fetus was viable and she would carry to full term. However, I could not be there when this sweet boy made his debut on earth. My father was ill and I had to move 3,000 miles away.

Stress -- A ticket to an ER Resort

Off and on over the past year, I’ve had intestinal issues. I would get sick for a day and then get better. Once I felt more “normal” I would simply forget about the brief encounter with an uncomfortable tummy and go about my caretaking duties.

A couple of Sundays ago, I woke up in such pain that I could hardly move around. I couldn’t possibly take care of Riley because I couldn’t even stand up. I called hospice to see about getting some help and they immediately found a bed for him in a nursing home. I thought I would just rest and go with the sickness to let it work itself out. After all, I thought, it is probably just a flu bug going around. I spent that Sunday on the sofa with a barf bag and the porta potty close by.