Strength in numbers...

There is strength in numbers. When the numbers consist of parents who have children addicted to drugs or alcohol, the strength becomes super-human.

The is a movement a foot – a wave of angry parents are reaching out to the court systems of Virginia to initiate a change in how drug related cases are handled. They use the State of Ohio as a model of what they hope to create in Virginia. Please click the link below and watch a short video:

 https://www.facebook.com/60minutes/videos/10154114671524395/?autoplay_reason=all_page_organic_allowed&video_container_type=0&video_creator_product_type=2&app_id=2392950137

 I’ve been asked to help organize a group of 16 parents who desperately want to help their children. I have accepted the challenge to help the group grow from an idea to a reality.

Many times on this blog, I have stated that I have very little experience with drug addiction. While the basic concept of addiction applies, there is a whole set of facts that are different from alcoholism. Addiction is addiction – I get that. But heroin addiction in a young adult feels (to me) very different from a 57 year old man downing a bottle of vodka and case of beer on a daily basis.

I hate to say this, but alcoholism has become popular. There have been lots of publicity and advertising as well as movies and TV shows, dealing with alcoholism.  It has only been in the past couple of years that we’ve been seeing more about drug addiction, especially heroin. It’s time to make some changes.

Where I live, and in a 50-mile radius, heroin addiction is at epidemic levels with teens and young adults. Everyday I see or hear of a young person losing their life to overdose and “bad batches”. Ironically, as told to me by a local first responder, when the kids hear someone has died from heroin, they want to buy from that same batch/person. The reasoning is that it had to have been some “really good stuff” and they wouldn’t have to use as much.

These kids – young adults and teens – believe they are invincible. They believe they are the immortal addicts because in their drug soaked brains they believe they are smarter. Who are they smarter than? Smarter than the police. Smarter than their parents. Smarter than the EMT’s. Smarter than everyone. The mind set is “I know something you don’t know and I’m not telling you what it is I know.”

While I say that I have very little experience with drug addiction, I have had close encounters. Several close relatives have fought their own battles with drugs. Some of them were successful in their fight and others failed – fatally. So while I haven’t lived in a house with a drug addict, I am familiar with the pain and suffering of the people who love addicts. I’ve seen the look on parents faces as they try to make sense of the death of their baby to something like heroin. I’ve had to turn away family members who bang on my door in the middle of the night because they need money for a fix. I’ve run to the rescue to people who have claimed to be sick but really are “jonesing” for white powder.

Accepting the challenge does not in any way diminish my dedication to the families and friends of alcoholics. I’m just adding a dimension to my causes. I hope my readers will stand by me and continue to help me make a difference to society.

Who is Miss Vodie? What's her resume?

Everyone knows the bad stuff about drinking liquor. But few people really take notice of the history of distilled liquors. Inquiring minds want to know – so I inquired. That is I did some research. There’s a list of reference resources at the end of this post.

The liquor I hear the most about is the one I often refer to as Miss Vodie – or otherwise known as Vodka. It seems like a good place to start.

Vodka is a distilled beverage composed of water and ethanol and sometimes flavored other fruits or sugars. It is made by the distillation from potatoes or rice and very pure water. It can be made from many other kinds of materials such as grain or molasses. It is used to make cocktails such as martinis, Cosmopolitans, Screwdriver, Bloody Mary’s and many other drinks.

The name “Vodka” is from a Slavic work “voda” meaning “little water”. It was recorded for the first time in 1405 in court documents in Poland. At that time it was primarily used for medicines, cosmetics and making gunpowder.

I always thought the homeport of vodka was somewhere in Russia. However, Poland claims to have distilled vodka as early as the 8^th century. That version was more of a crude brandy since it was distilled from wine. So maybe it cannot really be considered a true vodka.

At the end of the 9^th century the first documented production of Russian vodka was reported. During the 14^th century vodka was considered to be the Russian national drink. In the mid 16^th century, Poland and Finland also laid claims as it being their national drink. The first exports of vodka were to Sweden in 1505.

The liquid contained many impurities and many methods were used to “purify” the drink. It was very expensive to produce palatable vodka so distilleries became the exclusive right of the nobility because they were the only ones who could afford the task. By the 18^th century a new system of purifying using charcoal filtration was developed making it less expensive to produce.

Vodka increased in popularity as Russian soldiers introduced the liquor to other parts of Europe during the Napoleonic Wars. The high demand led to the production of lower grade vodka which was produced from distilling potato mash. The availability of the cheaper, mass-produced vodkas began an “epidemic of drunkenness”. Attempts were made to control the situation by enacting a law to make production and distribution of vodka in a Russia as a monopoly.

The name “Vodka” was officially adopted after a standard of technique and a guarantee of quality was attained at the end of the 19^th century.

All private distilleries in Moscow were confiscated after the Russian Revolution. Many Russian vodka makers emigrated taking their skills with them. In Paris, a Russian immigrant named Smirnoff developed a French version of vodka. He partner with another Russian who had relocated to the USA. In 1934 vodka began being produced in the USA. It increased in popularity with Americans by the 1940s. In the 1960s-1970s vodka reached it’s all-time high popularity in the USA.

The vodka boom was greatly due to the change in lifestyles at the time. The more affluent younger generation, relaxed lifestyle, and mix-ability of vodka contributed to its increase in popularity. Martini’s were all the rage and considered to be the drink of exclusive circles and upper class bars.

In the less sophisticated, back country areas there was another kind of vodka brewing. Bathtub vodka or, commonly called “Moonshine”. This can be produced easily and cheaply. It can also be deadly. Severe poisoning leading to blindness and death can occur as the result of drinking this homemade concoction.

During Prohibition Bathtub Vodka was being cooked up in big cities as well as back country. When Prohibition ended, the bathtubs may have returned to providing a place to bathe, but the country moonshine stills continued to prosper. To this day there is an abundance of illegal stills hidden in the countryside.

Vodka can be as much as 40%-50% pure alcohol. It is very easy to over-consume vodka especially when mixed with other juices or mixers. Excessive amounts will inhibit your judgment and decrease fine motor control and coordination. It increases your risk of alcoholism and its associated diseases such as cirrhosis.

I gathered all this information from internet research of various sites. All I really need to know is that it is has been a huge factor in destroying Riley’s life. I don’t blame Miss Vodie or the vodka producing industry. It isn’t vodka’s fault that Riley chooses that liquor to join him in his decline. The fault is hard to establish. I think we’d have to take a look at the entirety of Riley’s life to really determine the fault that led him into alcoholism.

Reference websites: Ginvodka.org; Wikipedia; Livestrong.com

Hot Off the Presses!! Get your Workbook now!!

I’ve been a very busy girl over the past month. I’ve been working on updating the Workbook for Caretakers of End-Stage Alcoholics. It’s now available in a paperback version on Amazon.com. You can get it here:

https://www.amazon.com/Workbook-Caretakers-End-Stage-Alcoholics-communication/dp/1536908614/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1470835244&sr=8-1&keywords=Workbook+for+Caretakers

You can still get the computer version here on the blog, but it will not be available anywhere else – at least for now.

The paperback version has been updated and packed with new information. It is a must have for anyone dealing with an alcoholic. It’s all the information you wished you didn’t need to know.

I use my workbook almost everyday. I keep one for Riley and I can see how he has deteriorated over the past couple of years. When the doctor comes to visit (Yes, our doctor makes house calls – The Visiting Physician’s Association.), he can clearly see how things have changed from one visit to the next.

I also have a workbook for myself. I have altered it in different ways to fit my own health issues. I’m not an alcoholic but I am diabetic. I track all the vital information and my blood sugar levels. My doctor loves it when I give him my charts from the Workbook and sees my improvement.

I will be developing a workbook for non-alcoholics in the very near future.

About two years ago, I asked for, and received, stories from my readers of their own journey through loving an alcoholic. I still have most of them and will be using them to write my next book. You can still contribute if you want by e-mailing me your story to LindasFrontPorch@outlook.com with “story” in the subject line. Identities will be changed to provide anonymity for the contributors. I will also accept stories based on drug addiction.

There is a new book on the market by Wren Waters, titled The Alcoholic Husband Primer: Survival Tips for Wives of Alcoholics. I enjoyed reading this book. It was clear and offered a point of view unique to wives of alcoholics. I highly recommend reading this book. You can get it at:

https://www.amazon.com/Alcoholic-Husband-Primer-Survival-Alcoholics/dp/1533363471/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1470842054&sr=1-1&keywords=Wren+Waters

Another recent book is This Naked Mind by Annie Grace. While I prefer not to get into the business of recommending book dealing primarily with alcoholics rather than families of alcoholics, I thought this one was worth mentioning. This Naked Mind offers a new solution. Annie Grace will open your eyes to the startling role of alcohol in our culture. She psychological, neurological, cultural, social and industry factors creating a must read for anyone who drinks.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0996715002/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0996715002&linkCode=as2&tag=thinakmin-20&linkId=HQBTE4EF5JAY2FYD

I’ll be posting another book review next month. If you have any you’d like to recommend or reviews you’d like published, please e-mail me at LindasFrontPorch@outlook.com with the word “review” in the subject line. 

Hallucinations, agitation and drugs that help

Riley was in the Navy submarine service for more than 25 years. He served aboard the USS Shark which was a sister ship of the USS Scorpion. The Scorpion went down near the Azores and was never recovered. The cause of the event was never exactly determined. But, the crew members of the Shark felt an uncanny connection to those who served and lost their life aboard the Scorpion.

About a year ago, Riley was having severe panic attacks and hallucinations about incidents that happened to him aboard submarines. He was clearly terrified of “going down with the ship.” These dreams, hallucinations, images, whatever, would last for days. There was no sleep because he was screaming out for help. He didn’t know who I was and didn’t understand how I got there.

We tried drugs of all sorts, but nothing was making a dent in giving us some relief. Finally, our nurse practioner found us the answer. She spent hours doing research and had many conversations with our pharmacist. Then she sat down with and explained why nothing had worked so far.

The drugs we had been administering to Riley all had the same chemical components as alcohol.

Please Drink Responsibly

When Patrick Branson contacted me about helping with his upcoming documentary and told me the name "Please Drink Responsibly" I was reminded of the time when Riley argued with me that it was OK for him to drive drunk because he had been doing it for years and nothing bad ever happened. He was insistent that it was not right for anyone else to drive drunk, but it was OK for him because he had experience.  

Please Drink Responsibly is a documentary film produced by Patrick Branson. There is no corporate funding for this film. It exists from donations given by people like me and you. They are at the end of production but do not have enough funds to get it finished. They are so close yet so far.

To donate to this film and get it out there to the public, please contact Patrick Branson by leaving a message or comment on his Facebook page at:

 https://www.facebook.com/JohnnyTragedy/about?section=contact-info&pnref=about

As family and friends of alcoholics and alcoholics, we all know how important it is for films like this to be aired. Please join with me in making it happen.

The state of sobriety

There was a full moon on Wednesday night. I admired how bright and shiny it was with its ability to light up my entire yard. Intellectually I know that the moon only appears white because it is reflecting the light here on earth. Still, I revel in its beauty and can almost feel the magical power emanating from the shine.

I could use some magical power these days. Riley has not been feeling well. Besides not feeling well, he is having a difficult time communicating with the nurse about his pain. Often times he simply says that he just feels yucky in general then will yell out in pain a few minutes later. Ask him where it hurts – his answer is on his entire right side. If I had magic powers I would just wave my wand and be able to see his pain.

Often I will say something to a person about Riley no longer drinking. Everyone oooos and ahhhhs about how his sobriety is wonderful. I’m told that I should at least be grateful for the lack of alcohol. I know they mean well. I smile and nod.

Back in the day, if Riley had quit drinking and was still able to maintain a quality life, I would be

Longing for the good old days

I watched Riley check out what was on his dinner plate. I said each item aloud. But there was not a glimmer of recognition of what this plate represented. Back in the day – before there was a baby and before Miss Vodka encroached upon our lives – we were just a struggling couple trying to make ends meet. When Riley landed a new job with a great salary, I wanted to celebrate by fixing him a special dinner. I only had a couple of dollars in my pocket so I got creative.

A while back, our neighbor had given us a can of pink salmon because she had no idea what it was or how to prepare it. I gladly took the can and knew exactly what it would become. I check the panty and found some saltines, green onions and the usual seasonings. I had everything I needed to create Salmon Patties.

Crazy vs UTI

Yes, they are crazy when they are filled to the brim with toxic liquid. But, if you notice your alcoholic person to be a bit more crazy than usual, there may be an additional cause. Urinary Tract Infections (UTI’s) can also be the cause of crazy.

Most UTIs are caused from a bacterial infection called Escherichia coli (E.coli) which makes it’s home in the bowels. They are more common in women than in men. Symptoms include frequent and intense urgency to urinate with a painful, burning feeling. The condition is resolved with a course of antibiotics.

Well – that sounds simple enough. And it is simple for the normal healthy person. But when dealing with a person with a compromised immune system and already in a weakened physical state, it’s a bit more complicated.

I promise you can trust me

I grew up in a family where trust was not an issue. I trusted almost everyone in my family to a point where I could be classified as gullible. It just never dawned on me that people close to me would lie to me or hurt me in any way. I came from a loving, trusting home and I saw no reason not to extend that trust to the outside world.

Of course, all that trust meant I was an easy target in the school yard. Promises were often broken and as well as my heart. But, hey, it was the school yard and childhood isn’t often as carefree and wonderful as it would seem. Kids are cruel. They don’t really mean to be, it’s just that all the filters have not developed yet and there is no self-control.

The neighbors are talking...

First off, to those of you who wrote and sent condolences to Carrot – It was NOT her son who died. However, she appreciates all your encouraging thoughts and prayers.

“What you think of me is none of my business.” As the wife of an alcoholic, I can tell you that I never had time to think much about what the neighbors were thinking. I felt that people who spent time gossiping about me or my family had way too much time on their hands.

When my son, Brian, died an alcohol-related death, it took me years to be able to say out loud that he was an alcoholic. I also could not vocalize his name. I would say it over and over in my head, but I didn’t want to hear his name come out of my mouth. When my grandson was born and was named after his uncle, I could only say “Baby Brian” but never just “Brian”. My grandson is six years old and he still lives with “Baby Brian.”