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Providing non-judgmental and non-criticizing support for family and friends of end-stage alcoholics through one-on-one coaching, support groups, blog posts, workshops and public speaking.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

True confession...

I succumbed to the infomercial for Jack LaLane Power Juicer. In my defense I would not even have watched the program if it had not been for Alea’s telephone call telling me that we both needed one of these things. They were having a 2 for 1 special and so I took the bait and placed the order. I even upgraded to the heavy duty super duper industrial strength power unit. I bet that baby could juice a rock.

I made a special effort to buy some fresh fruits that I wouldn’t normally buy – like a pineapple. Of course, when the juicer arrived I had to juice every piece of fruit in the house – oranges, apples, grapes, pineapple and then some carrots. I was a juicin’ fool. I was disappointed when the fruit ran out and thought for a fleeting moment to send Riley to the store. Thank goodness I came to my senses quickly.

The best part of the experience was that everything tasted so wonderful. I usually have a glass of orange juice in the morning – you know – it comes in a half-gallon carton. But this fresh juice was so much better. I mixed the various juices together and it was such a treat. Then I added some yogurt to make a smoothy and was even more impressed.

OK. So now I’m getting all these wonderful vitamins, anti-oxidants and other healthy stuff. And I was even getting some pro-biotic from the yogurt. That lead me to thinking... hummmm... since I’m eating fresher things, maybe I should work a little harder at getting back on my diet track.

Or – maybe I could throw in a little exercise. I could take a morning walk around the paddock -- about a mile all the way around. I could work my way up to 5 miles a day. Then I thought... I might even buy a bicycle and ride around all my country roads. I work my way up and get really healthy!

Images flashed through my head of having the healthiest 62-year-old body in the county. I saw myself in size 0 jeans and running marathons. I thought of tennis matches and joining the local softball team. I would be so healthy that I'd be invited to be on The Doctors!! Oh… how glorious it was!!

This morning I woke up and put on my sweat suit, laced up my sneakers and headed for the paddock. I opened the back door and was met with the chill from the frosty morning air. Our little red car was covered with glistening dust deposited in the middle of the night. I watched clouds of air escape from my mouth as I walked toward the fence.

I hadn’t gotten far when it hit me. Pow! I was cold! My hands were freezing because I forgot to wear gloves. My ears were cold because I don’t have a hat or ear muffs. My knees ached from the arthritis that was trying to sneak into my joints. My nose was running and I didn’t have a tissue.

I headed back to the house… I wonder how much exercise I get from pushing that pusher down into the juicer???


poet said...

congratulations on the juicer. i love fresh orange juice. we have one of those manual ones--the little plastic thing you push and turn and juice squirts everywhere. wow it takes a lot of oranges to get an 8 oz glass....have a great evening. ;)

Anonymous said...

Yum! fresh juice is one of the delights of living in the South East. Let's hear it for Jack!

Alcoholic Daze (ADDY) said...

Had to laugh. I could have written that!

HyperCRYPTICal said...

Hi Linda,

I am impressed that you used the juicer - but I guess I am just comparing with my own indolence!

I have a juicer - not a fancy one - still in the box; two years in now (I think), but I am sure - am I? - that I will use it one day!

About five years ago I bought a rowing machine and have used it once! My idea of exercise is opening my eyes in the morning!

Good luck with the jogging (when the mornings are more friendly!)

Anna :o]

Linda (ImmortalAlcoholic) said...

OMG!!! JOG!! Anna -- who said anything about j-j-j-ooo-gging!! About the most I could hope for is a leisurely stroll and eventually working my up to a walk. If we put your rowing maching and my recumbant bike in the same room they could keep each other company!!

Syd said...

I had to smile at this post. Fantasizing about what I am going to do is much easier than actually doing it.