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Providing non-judgmental and non-criticizing support for family and friends of end-stage alcoholics through one-on-one coaching, support groups, blog posts, workshops and public speaking.

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Help me help Anonymous...

I would like to refer my readers to a post written on March 14, 2012 "Crying wolf..." Not only is this post appropriate for the current time, it also contains a comment from a person who needs a little help.

This person is addicted to alcohol and drugs and has managed to achieve some sobriety after a visit to rehab. Currently he/she has slipped and is struggling to get "back on track." I'm asking all of my readers who have been in this position to please offer some encouragement and support.

I'm not an alcoholic so I can't ever truly understand to my core how difficult it is to "get a gripe." I know my limitations. So I'm reaching out to all of you to help me help Anonymous find the way back to sanity.

Thank you very much --- Linda

To Anonymous (the last commenter on "Crying wolf...") --

I hope you are reading this and will know that the support here is heartfelt from people who could have written your story themselves. Please reach out and return to a life filled with possibilities.

Linda

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Prayers helped me. Start thinking how bad things are and how when you weren't using or drinking things were getting a bit better each day. There is nothing a drink or drug will make better.

If you can get to a meeting, do that. Search AA or NA speakers online and take a listen to those recorded talks from Speaker Meetings.

AA and NA don't have a monopoly on keeping a person sober, but if you stick around long enough, you will hear your story. Get a sponsor. The new solution is in working those 12 steps and working them consistently. Then working them into your daily life.

It took me 25 years to be at a point where I was totally willing to go to any length not to drink. I now have 13 months and life is 100 times better than it has been for many years. Hope exists.

I wish you well. Try not to use, get to meetings in the early days of sobriety. You are NOT alone anymore.

I hope, just really hope, you are willing to go to any lengths to stay stopped!

Search AA city state and call the local "intergroup" office and talk with a human voice. We are recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body for today.

You can, too! Stay strong!! Stay stopped!

Love,
Deb

Anonymous said...

I as well have been sober 13 months and life truly is a blessing now. The how's and why's to stop are unique to each person. Long before I stopped drinking this last time, I knew that I needed to end the chaos...for me. My family's impatience and hate for me when I was drinking was not enough. It had to be done because I wanted it. When I was in the hospital detoxing, I knew I had lost it all. But perseverance to gain back all that I lost has kept me motivated. As it turned out, thankfully, I didn't lose anything/anyone, except my dignity. With faith, patience and learning to like myself, things got better.

If I can do this, YOU CAN TOO! I plan for the future now, but when it comes to drinking I'm cautiously optimistic. What works for me is waking up each morning and telling myself I will not drink today. I have now branched and have faith that I will not drink today and will not tomorrow. It gets me by.

Find patience, strength and courage within yourself, and the faith will shine thru and guide you.

I wish you the very best that life has to offer. It's your's for the taking!

Love,
Maureen

Anonymous said...

I will echo the above. Go to a meeting. Stay away from people and places you used to drink/drug/self destruct.

A compulsive overeater
Same problem, different substance.

Furtheron said...

I am 8 years now - how I really don't know but I can say AA has been there all the way. It doesn't judge, the programme is "suggested" only, ignore the God thing - I still use "Group Of Drunks" - it is the people who are walking with me who save me...

Try AA or NA you have nothing to lose... there are other ways, my experience was I tried many - AA has worked for 8 years

Drop by my blog and read my drinking story and my ongoing posts about my recovery. Email me if you'd like

Anonymous said...

One thing that it's important to tell yourself; you've had some sober time up before.. you can do it again. If you can get back on the wagon this can be a learning experience, a slip, a fall, not a permanent descent back into drinking.

Alice, alcoholic.

Linda -- Immortal Alcoholic's Wife said...

Fullerton -- Please post a link here for your blog. I know I put it on the site, but it would help if you put it in your comment for easy access.

Thanks -- Linda

Anonymous said...

To the anonymous poster that went to rehab, was sober, and has recently slipped. Just a short time ago, my brother did the same thing. He was an addict, and he went to rehab, was sober for awhile, but then he slipped. And he died. We are all still devastated. I miss my brother so much!!!! Please, don't do this to yourself, and don't do this to your loved ones!!! Go to AA or NA, get a sponser, reach out for help whenever you need it. There are online aa chats too. There is a LOT of help out there but you only get help when you ask for it!!! Life is short, and I don't know what comes after this. I hope my brother is happy now, but I just wish he was still with US, and happy.

Anonymous said...

I had nearly 20 years of sobriety then spent five years descending back into the hell that is active drinking. For me, AA is the best route - it is a beautifully simple program: don't drink and go to meetings. Look past the "steps" at this point and just remember that the only "step" you have to get right is the first - knowing we are POWERLESS over alcohol and drugs. Most AA's I've met are not judgmental - truly, you and I are reminders to them of "There but for the grace of God go I" - you are not alone and do not deserve the kind of life. Remember that an AA group should be welcoming and inclusive - keep looking until you find a group you like, and keep going until you WANT to go. Good luck to both of us -

Anonymous said...

I am the wife of an alcoholic (15-18 beers or a liter of liquor a day, depending on the drink of choice): 30 years drinking, 25 years in this relationship, children in late teens & early 20's. My kids and I have always wondered what my husband would be like if he weren't drunk. We've never truly seen him sober aside from the hours between waking and taking the first drink of the day, which I don't consider sobriety as much as a wearing off of the night before. He has skipped a night here or there for illness but doesn't get out of bed in those cases, so I don't count those as seeing him sober either. The point is, the fact you are willing to seek help is the stuff my dreams/prayers are made of. Yes, a journey starts with the first step; but from where I'm standing, it looks like you're already at least a few miles in the right direction and deserve commendation for what you are already accomplishing regardless of detours.

Syd said...

Anonymous, I know based on what I have seen in my relationship with my wife, that getting sober can give you a life that is happier than you ever imagined. It will be a life in which you are aware of those who are in your life and the beauty that surrounds you. I am not alcoholic but am married to a beautiful woman who has been sober for nearly six years. I hope that you make a decision to go to AA, get a sponsor and work the steps.

Anonymous said...

Anon-just think about how you were manipulated by liquor advertising that made you equate liquor with socialization. I suffered through an alcoholic mother and wife and I'm so repulsed by alcohol I don't even like to go near it.