Details the effect of being a non-alcoholic person married to an end-stage alcoholic. Frustrations, trials, tribulation... and yet... there is comedy hidden in the insanity. This blog also provides useful insight and facts concerning the complexities of conflicting information.
I know the end of this video may generate some hostility, concern, controversy... whatever... please leave all you both positive and negative comments on my www.lindasfrontporch.com website in the Immortal Alcoholic page.
In a nutshell...
Ever since Riley had his heart attack and was released from hospice back to me, I have steadfastedly refused to allow him any alcohol. Now, I'm wondering why I did that.
At the appt to have an ultrasound on his tumor last Wednesday, we discovered that they don't want to do an ultrasound, but rather a CT scan. OK. I'm fine with that -- so let's do it. Whoa-- we have to make an appt for that... soonest they can get him in is in 4 weeks! Hmmm... I thought everything about cancer was urgent and needed immediate attention for best results.
But the shock and awe doesn't end there. While telling us that he wants a CT scan rather than the USound, he explains that he would rather go in and surgically remove the tumor because he doesn't feel Riley's health is in good enuf shape for chemo and radiation. Well... if the surgery is easier, then why not? The why not is because he will most likely lose any of his remaining bowel control. I don't know if that means a bag or what. I was too busy trying to take it all in to ask the question.The doctor seems to think it's an acceptable sacrifice. He is certainly entitled to his own opinion.
But... let's break this down... Riley already dislikes his life... he has no social contact, cannot use the computer, isn't allowed to drink, can't drive. His entire day consists of sitting and watching TV. He already feels he has no life. Now consider this -- he had been having very bad diarrhea and only recently has the issue been resolved due to a simple change in medication. He now has control over something -- the ability to poop like a normal person. If that's taken away -- what kind of quality of life will he have since he already feels there's no quality to his life anyway?
I asked Riley if he understood what the doc had said. He said "only marginally." I tried as best I could to explain.
His answer was -- "I don't want surgery. I'll stick with chemo and radiation and see what happens. I've been told so many times that I'm going to die -- doesn't he know that I'll probably survive this too. AND still have no life."
I don't feel that I can argue with logic like that. I gave him a glass of wine with his dinner tonight.